Leadership Tea
The Leadership Tea podcast is where powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs through informal conversations about what it takes to reach the executive level. Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Steeping into Gratitude: A Sip of Courage & Future Plans
We have created this bonus episode to say "Thank You" to all of you who have supported us during our first week as a live podcast. Thanks to all of you, we rocketed to the top of the Apple "Career" charts. You made our debut an unimaginable success. Thank you!
We're calling on you to join the conversation, whether you are scrolling through Instagram, tuning in during your commute, or seeking inspiration at your desk. We're all about fostering a community of go-getters who dare to dream and claim their space, and we're thrilled to have you be part of this ever-growing circle of peace, courage, and audacity.
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We publish new episodes every other Wednesday.
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Learn more about us and the podcast at www.stirringsuccess.com
Hey everyone. It's Shelby and Belinda, and we thought we would record a bonus episode because we surprised ourselves. Our debut episode hit in a way that really blew us. It took us aback. We were pleasantly surprised at all the positive feedback and the love that we got. At one point we were charting number seven, I think, in Apple Podcasts in the career category, which is crazy because, like we said in our intro episode, we are not expert podcasters. We're just doing this because sharing wisdom about leadership is something that we're passionate about and we're just really excited to be in this space with all of you. So we thought we would take a moment and break from our normal rhythm of having episodes every other week and record just a brief episode to just say thank you and to express our appreciation, but also to talk about some of the things that we've learned, not just in doing the podcast, but over the past three years, which have been pivotal for each of us. Belinda.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree with you. So first I just want to reiterate what Shelby said and that I just really want to thank everyone for passing the word on, for sending your ideas and feedback and just really sharing all this positive energy with us as we go on the screen, because it is difficult to put yourself out here. Our desire is to share the lessons that we wish we had learned and build community and fill a void.
Speaker 1:Yes. So this episode is all about courage and bravery. Like Belinda said, this podcast is a profile in courage, because we didn't really know what we were doing. We knew that we had a vision and we knew that there was a gap to be filled, and the responses that we've gotten in just a short period of time are just proof that our instincts were correct, that there's a gap to be filled. I guess I'll start by reflecting on what I've learned over the past three years in reaching this moment in time.
Speaker 1:The past three years were tough. I think it's been tough for all of us when we think about the pandemic and what we had to endure as a nation, no matter what you were doing, whether you were working full-time, whether you were a stay-at-home mom, no matter what your situation was, the pandemic fundamentally changed everything about us as a society, our relationships with work, our relationships with each other. And for me, I happen to have been working in some pretty intense jobs or positions rather within the State Department, and it was during that time that I didn't feel so courageous, I didn't feel so brave. I had significant responsibility, but occasionally I found myself in situations where I was questioned and people doubted me. It's like what Kathy said in our second episode, bitterbrews and Sweet Successes, where she talked about everything is fine. People are encouraging you, like oh, you're so great, you're so clever, things are wonderful until you reach the table. And it's at that moment, when you get to the table, it's oh wait, what are you doing here? How'd you get here?
Speaker 1:Literally people asked me oh, how you get there? How did I get there?
Speaker 2:I was gonna say more, like you should be thankful that you're here.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Just accept this title and just sit here.
Speaker 1:And just wait a minute. My credentials speak for themselves. I work just as hard, probably harder, than some of you who are sitting at the table, and I would not dare ask you how you got here, because my baseline assumption is you deserve to be here or I'm not even thinking about that. I'm not thinking about you in that way. I'm just trying to do my job. I'm just here to do my job. I'm just here trying to do the work, just trying to do the work, not trying to game, not trying to scheme, not trying to compare myself to you, I'm just here to get a job done.
Speaker 1:And so that really, that shook me. That really shook me. That entire I can just look back over the past three years and just recall just moments in time where, on the outside, I might have looked courageous, but on the inside I felt extremely small, and I don't ever want to feel that way again, never again. And it's really just within the past few months that I have tried to embrace some of the things that I share with my mentees, some of the things that I share even with peers who reach out out for support or advice, in terms of just allowing my gifts to make room for me and just stepping into my power, stepping into who I am and not being ashamed, not thinking about what other people think of me or how they're judging me, not letting external judges internalize how I think and how I behave, but just going with the flow, not force, which is something that we heard on another. I think we heard it on another podcast, because we do our research on podcasts.
Speaker 2:We like listening to podcasts.
Speaker 1:We like listening to podcasts too, but that stuck with me.
Speaker 2:Flow not force.
Speaker 1:Just be me and not let other people's thoughts or opinions sabotage who I know myself to be.
Speaker 2:I agree. I agree, and I've been thinking a lot about how people often ask me, as I kind of shift careers, what have you learned? You're making a change, what did you learn from what you were doing before? What did you learn? Man? A lot. If I were to distill it down, I've got a couple of points. One thing I think that encapsulates all of it is this word, audacity, which you hear me say a lot. We often talk about. You need a word for the year, and this year it's like manifest.
Speaker 2:I just wonder what if we had the audacity to think. Manifest wasn't a special word, yeah.
Speaker 1:I should just always be manifesting baseline Always.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the things that I've learned come down to having the audacity to dream and go for what I want and understand and know and claim my value. Yeah, I think that I spent a great deal of my career, and particularly a good deal of the last couple of years, being willing to accept whatever was given to me. Yeah, that I've got this opportunity, a door has opened.
Speaker 2:I must walk through it Like who doesn't walk through that door, even though it doesn't seem like the right door or I might see some red flags, but who doesn't walk through a door? And getting through a door and thinking, well, there are a few people get to walk through this door, yeah, and so.
Speaker 2:So I better walk through it, because it might be the only door that opens for me, even though doors have always opened, even though the pattern says otherwise, but it still is Could be the last door. I should walk through it and then accepting lots of things that don't work for me. There are times I would say really during the last 10 or 15 years, but certainly the last three that it's been clear on my heart that I wanted to take my career or my life or my family in a different direction than I was headed, but I felt people would be disappointed in me if I don't walk through this door, etc. Etc.
Speaker 1:When you should have been asking. Will Belinda be disappointed in Belinda? How about that?
Speaker 2:And I never asked that question. And now I have said you know what? These constraints are not working for me. I am going to move in a different direction. And guess what? I haven't lost a single friend. No family member has said they were disappointed. I was aligned with my spouse when I made those decisions, so that all worked out right.
Speaker 2:I never want to put myself in a position where I am making decisions that I know are bad for me ultimately, because my back is against the wall, you don't have to make choices that force you to stay in a bad situation.
Speaker 1:I feel like there were times when and we've talked about this when we were looking to other people to give us the answers that were within us, looking to I don't know, like trying to imagine, like what does the ideal leader look like? And I think one day I just I became the leader that I wanted to see.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I just realized that the person that I was waiting on was me. Yes, totally, and I'm just trying to live that truth. I think that's the biggest lesson that I've learned recently.
Speaker 2:I feel like the confidence of sitting in your truth makes you a better colleague and leader. Yeah, I often think about how if the journey that I have gone on in the last couple of years and the time that I've had to be able to really think about that journey and my lessons learned from it, make me a much better leader now. Yeah, Because I just have a clarity and a sense of purpose and a confidence and an awareness of my value, and that's the value of people around me, and respect for that value.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That I don't know if I had the confidence to really sit in before. I think I just do better now.
Speaker 1:I hear you and then I think for me.
Speaker 2:Another point is trusting your gut. Yeah, and that, whether it's like you get some memo in front of you and you're like this doesn't seem right Because he else signed off, that's happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, trusting your gut to be able to say this doesn't feel right.
Speaker 2:Somebody needs to speak up about it. Or this door that has opened doesn't feel right. Yeah, it's okay to say no, and that right there has been a big one. Because I think I am coming from a cultural perspective where, when it comes to opportunities, unconsciously I'm coming from a position of lack. So it's, you got an opportunity, don't?
Speaker 1:blow it. You gotta take this. You gotta be able to pay. You don't know something else. Don't come up. Did you have another something? You gotta take this. But is that the path that you need to be on to pay the bills, right? Like, why aren't you being more selective?
Speaker 2:Why don't I get to be selective? Yeah, so that's what I'm trying, yes, and this journey is. I am going to be more selective.
Speaker 1:Yes, and not like an unreasonable way, but it's just like. That is a clear red flag. Yes, that's flashing. It's flashing, it's burning the universe. Don't do it, don't ignore it, it's in your face.
Speaker 2:I'm really consciously implementing that and saying within reason those red flags that I see are just so out there that I'm going to pass on that, yes, and wait for something that is more within the limits of what is acceptable. Nothing's never gonna happen.
Speaker 1:No, but more within the limits of what is acceptable to you, because you are Belinda Jackson Farrion. Recognize For real, for real.
Speaker 2:I get to be discerning, yes, and so far. When you combine that with audacity, without constraints, with knowing clearly what my value is and what the boundaries are and what I can accept, oh, it leads to freedom, clarity of thought and happiness. Yes.
Speaker 1:And infinite possibilities and possibilities.
Speaker 2:And happiness, and it's like I was reflecting on this the other day, watching my daughter do something and looking at my husband doing something. I thought we are happy right now. Yeah, deeply happy. In a way, it's not even going to be deeply unhappy, but it's like even stress. We got to run here and run there and I'm working and he's working and we're trying to fit things in the schedule and be stressed and oh, when we create reasonable boundaries and understand what our goals are and everybody's happy on their own level, it creates this peace. Yes, that's what it is. It's peace, and in that peace, like you said, then there's infinite possibilities.
Speaker 2:As we wind down, I just want to remind everybody that one. Thank you, thank you, thank you and please keep listening. Our upcoming episodes are going to talk about how one of our friends created a village around her to support her through her career and support her family as she pivoted and also went up the ladder. Another episode will focus on pivoting and all the complexity that will come around that. We have an episode where we talk about your role as a leader when it comes to mentorship and sponsorship and we talk about some of the challenges and successes that can come with that, but it's hard to be a good mentor and I think often people are sharing how to get a mentor and keep a mentor, but you don't often hear people talk about now I'm a mentor, now, yeah, what does that mean and what should the relationship be like?
Speaker 1:Because that is when successful mentoring occurs, when there's a connection and when there are clear expectations of what the mentor is bringing to the table, but also, what should the mentee be thinking about and what he or she brings to the table. So that's going to be an interesting episode that I think our listeners will like.
Speaker 2:Yes, and all three of those episodes that I discussed are all episodes where we will feature a guest different guests, but guests so you won't just hear our thoughts, you will get some wisdom from others as well. So I think it's going to be an exciting season.
Speaker 1:I think so too, and, just as a reminder, check us out on our websites during successcom. You can follow us on Insta at leadership, underscore T, and you can listen to our podcast on our Bus Sprout site. There's a link to it on our website, but you can also find us on Apple Audible or Spotify.
Speaker 2:Yes, and whether it's in our DMs or comments on Instagram, or whether you leave us a comment through our website, we'd love to hear your ideas on episodes or topics that you'd like us to talk about. Yes, please, that would be very helpful, just so we know that we are talking about issues that are going to be helpful to you in your career. And, of course, please do leave a review and rate us on one of the podcast platforms. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Yes, we do, and we look forward to starting success and sipping wisdom with you again soon.
