Leadership Tea
The Leadership Tea podcast is where powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs through informal conversations about what it takes to reach the executive level. Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Steeping in Purpose While Cultivating Community
Discover the transformative power of service through Dr. Privott's experiences at Spelman College and the influence of women like Marian Wright Edelman. This episode takes you through her challenges and how community support helped her build resilience and strength. Understand the importance of following one's passions for personal and professional fulfillment and how a consistent dedication to service can solidify one's purpose in life.
Effective leadership requires vulnerability, vision, and perseverance; Dr. Privott exemplifies these attributes. Dr. Privott discusses her involvement in Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and shares insights from her favorite book, "Better, Not Perfect," by Dr. Shai Butler, which champions authenticity and self-acceptance. Ultimately, this episode redefines leadership as an act of love, where caring for oneself and others leads to the best in everyone.
More information about Dr. Privott and her work is available here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/debernee-privott-ph-d-818302b2/
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Learn more about us and the podcast at www.stirringsuccess.com
A big lesson in leadership that I also learned in my family is that there is room at the table for everyone to eat and I come from a big family, everyone being encouraged to thrive, but everyone's encouraged to be at the table, eat and commune together and the meal is really plenteous and it's enjoyable as we make room and experience the overflow.
Speaker 2:Welcome to today's episode of the Leadership Tea Podcast. Today's topic is steeping in purpose while cultivating community. Thanks for joining us. Today's guest is a dear friend of mine, dr Debra Nee Privat. For over 25 years I've been able to call her my Spelman College sister and classmate, a fellow soror of Zeta Phi, beta Sorority Incorporated and, quite simply put, one of my closest friends. When I first met Debra Nee as a first-year student at Spelman, she stood out to me for her tireless work, ethic and commitment to community service. In fact, she and I shared the same community service scholarship in college, and that comes through a bit during this episode. Community service scholarship in college, and that comes through a bit during this episode.
Speaker 2:Debra Nee's dedication to community service was unwavering and that continues today. Besides being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend, she's a board director, a professor, a community organizer and, just frankly, a pillar of her community. I've left more info about her background in the show notes, but take my word for it she's a boss who's preparing the way for the next generation of leaders throughout New York State and, frankly, the world. You will hear today that her passion for her work remains just as strong as it was all those years ago at Spelman. I've always wondered how she stays so grounded and focused and purpose-driven even in the face of setbacks and adversity. How has her drive to make a difference and impact shaped her leadership style? Well, in today's episode, we've set out to explore those questions. I think you'll find the secret to Debra Nee's success, which we can all learn from, is her clear understanding of her, why her drive to have an impact and her efforts to lead a balanced social, spiritual and intellectual life.
Speaker 2:Now I want to remind everyone that we want the Leadership Tea podcast to be a welcoming space for all. In this episode, you'll hear how Debra Nee's faith informs her leadership values. We know that our listeners come from many faith traditions and hold a diverse range of views about religion and spirituality. We respect all of these beliefs and viewpoints and we want you to know that. We want our listeners and our guests to feel that they can bring their authentic selves into this space. In this episode, there are universal lessons that we can all learn from, whether it's leading with empathy, working hard to respect the sacrifices of those who came before you, and building a community to support you through the good and the bad times. There's something here for all of us that we can take away and use in our own leadership practices. Take away and use in our own leadership practices.
Speaker 2:Debra Nee shows up to do the work. She succeeds on her terms and leads her teams to success through her ability to establish a vision, inspire people to bring their best selves to the workplace and, to put it in her words, lead with love. We'll learn a lot from Deveny today. I'm really excited to share this with you. So now let's get into it. So I thought we could begin Deveny by learning a little more about your background and what in your upbringing helped to shape your leadership. Could you tell us a?
Speaker 1:little bit about that Absolutely, and I'll start with my family and my background. My family really strengthened what I call my love muscle. I learned a lot about the exercises that really work to build that muscle, things like understanding, things like sacrifice, particularly very challenging times, and I learned a lot about what can weaken that muscle as well, and I try to stay away from that. A big lesson in leadership that I also learned in my family is that there is room at the table for everyone to eat, and I come from a big family, everyone being encouraged to thrive, but everyone's encouraged to be at the table, eat and commune together, and the meal is really plenteous and it's enjoyable as we make room and experience the overflow. And so what we were taught is that when one member of the family wins, it's a win for the entire team. It's a win for everyone. When my sister wins, when my husband wins, when my child wins, it's a family win. We all win, and so my family is also a big part of the reason that I choose.
Speaker 1:It's a decision to lead with love at the foundation, the forefront and the center, really all encompassing. So my family upbringing that's what taught me the importance of being led and paying close attention to who I'm being led by. Paying close attention to who I'm being led by In every case. For me, that has to be my creator, my ultimate and omnipotent leader, and in this way I know that my steps are ordered, especially as a leader, in every role of my life, how I show up for myself, how I show up for my family, as the leading lady of my household, for the community. So I'm very grateful for the examples of leadership that I've witnessed in my own home, in the community, and I have to note that the ones that I revered most, they always had this consistent thread of love, and so that's what I really hold dear in my own leadership it's love, and so my goal is just more and more love. That's the growth that I'm after along the path that's designed specifically for me to follow.
Speaker 3:That's great about the love muscle and building that muscle and knowing who you are led by and how your upbringing influenced you, in a sense of making room for everyone at the table and building upon all of those relationships. That's really powerful. All of those relationships that's really powerful. I wanted to ask related to your family upbringing. I know that you attended Spelman and I imagine that your experience at Spelman also had a profound impact on your evolution as a leader, and I was wondering if you could share with us what was it like to attend Spelman and how did that experience shape you?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, I'll be glad to share that. At Spelman, I was blessed to learn even more about myself, more than I knew before, and that was a big part of my leadership journey as well, so knowing who I am, but also knowing whose I am. So, to this very day, I mark my Spelman experience as the most pivotal realization of the power of my creator in my life, and so this was the very first time that I had evidence of a dream that was so much bigger than I could imagine actually coming to fruition in a space that I felt like was designed specifically for me, and so I knew for sure in this moment that if this particular dream could come to pass, any dream could come to pass. So this is a promise that I know for sure God made to me that day, and every promise for my life has been kept since that moment, and so, because of this miraculous, I call it a miracle. It was a miracle for me, this truly marvelous blessing. I knew that it could not stop with me, right? I knew that this blessing was not just for me, and so that is part of the reason I became even further committed to the community. So I call it the rent we pay for being. It is the very purpose of life and not something you do in your spare time, and that is to quote my Spelman sister, marian Wright Edelman. Right, it is a driving and sustaining force for a high quality of life, a life of well-being.
Speaker 1:And so Spelman made it clear that service and leadership were connected. And service was really revered. Right, we were actually called women who serve, and that was a great thing. And it was essential to have love in the service and the leadership. So it wasn't just enough to serve, but it was essential to serve with a passion and with the love that changes lives. Just like my own life had been transformed by the same, just as my excellence had been encouraged and really validated Right, it was now my time to further invest in someone else. So I knew this road of leadership it couldn't stop with me, right, it could not stop with me.
Speaker 1:I don't want to depict this experience at Spelman as being without challenges. I had some major challenges. It was not an easy breathe. There were some challenges. I experienced some very hard times when I was at Spelman. I had some very messy moments. It was rough, but I was able to look back and I could really see that only my creator could have brought me out of this. So my very first semester there, I had a really good friend who passed away. He passed away and I started to unravel.
Speaker 1:Take a moment so I felt like I was falling apart, and that was just one of the challenges. So there was a paradox and that it was the best of times, but it was also the worst of times. However, I came to know even more about myself, about the strength that exists within and around me. I'm thankful for my Spelman sisters, who certainly surrounded me in these moments. I'm thankful for Spelman for providing bereavement counseling. It was my first time in formal counseling and I'm so grateful for the mending of my mind and my heart, for the attending to my mental health that took place in this very special space, and I know for sure that I remain better for every challenge that I've been through along what I call my leadership journey. Not only have I learned that this, too, shall pass, but I shall be better for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I think some things that struck me Debonair out of our messy moments we have miracles and that the work that we do is often the rent that we pay for all the good that's happened to us and the good that we can pass on to others. I think what also jumps out at me is that Spelman taught you, just as it taught me, to know your limits and lean on your village when you must Mm-hmm, To dream your biggest dreams and know that you can achieve them, achieve them and to learn and really define what your values are and what you stand for, and to stand in that, even in the face of adversity I think of Spelman's very motto is right a choice to change the world.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And it takes all of those things. When you make that choice to change the world, you're going to go through some adversity. You're going to go through some good times and some bad times. I wonder if coming out of that having a base from your family that is really about sharing and sacrifice and love and how we all win when the community wins, and seeing how that grew when you went to Spelman and you had to learn how to apply that in an environment where you were going to face some adversity and some successes, did that help to shape the why of your career, like the why you do what you do and, if not, what did? And then finally, therefore, what is your why?
Speaker 1:I thank you for the layers of questions and as I reflect on your question, I think about all your questions. I think about a question that I was asked by my mom as a young girl and I'm pretty sure I was visiting from Spelman at the time no, it was in the stages between time, so I think I was on my way to Spelman at the time, or no, it was in the stages between time. So I think I was on my way to Spelman. And so she said and I'll never forget this question, it really did change the trajectory of my life what is it that you would do if no one paid you? She said. I understand the importance of making money and all of that career. That's great, wonderful, awesome. She said. But what is it that you would do if no one paid you? And as I thought about that question because she was really pushing me to have a life that I would enjoy, that I would love, and I appreciate her so much for that and I remember thinking about her question and I'm like I know what I would do, because I was involved in service and I was not being paid and I was loving every minute of it. So I was like. I know for sure what the answer to that is, because I'm doing exactly what you're talking about, and so from that moment, I was sure to continue to find myself in service. Every time that I was engaged with service, I felt really and it sounds trite, but it really is the feeling of the key being in an ignition. It's like being turned on, it's like having an electrifying force running through the body. It's like being plugged into the source the strengthening of the love muscle, all of that. And so I think my mom's question is really part of what shaped me knowing about that why? Aspect.
Speaker 1:She also taught me something that else very important, related to this lesson. I don't want anyone to think that remuneration is not important. It is very important. But one thing she said was, if you do what you love, the money will come, and she was absolutely right. The position that I'm in right now was actually a position that was created for me because I was doing service.
Speaker 1:My husband and I, we co-founded a service opportunity at the university, and we did this for nine years, and during that time there was another office that I was working with that created a position for me to be engaged with the community. This position that I had did not exist before and I was qualified in that. I was doing that work, and my mother was absolutely right and I appreciate her for the advice that she gave me, for encouraging me to think beyond a paycheck. So there is not an amount, like my service, my work. It's not for sale, there's no amount of money that will ever pay for it, but the blessings that come, they far outweigh any sort of remuneration that can be provided by anyone on this earth. And then so, with regard to my, why this is very loaded.
Speaker 1:And then so with regard to my, why this is very loaded, because my why is because I woke up this morning with the unique gifts that I have and with the passion that I have to serve and the mind to know exactly what that is In essence knowing my why, my, who, my, what, my, when, my, where. That is my why. And it all points back to my creator. I know I'm here to serve a purpose and I know what that purpose is. It's a blessing even just to know so, because I have the breath in my body to serve. I know why I was designed. I have the knowledge of my purpose. I'm moving forward to complete that. I don't know how much time I have on this earth, so for every minute that I am granted, it is a gift and I will take full advantage to serve. That's what it really is about for me.
Speaker 3:Everything you shared was so profound and I'm struck, and I also admire just the level of clarity that you have in aligning your who, your what, your where, your, why, your, how.
Speaker 3:It's abundantly clear that you are in touch with who you are and what purpose you serve and how your talents are supposed to be utilized.
Speaker 3:And I think I'm struck by it because I feel a lot of people that we encounter are lost, and I don't know if it's become more pronounced as a result of the pandemic, where people are still going through things.
Speaker 3:We all went through something and some of us are still recovering and some of us are grinding and working hard and want to excel in whatever career path we've chosen, and there's still something missing. There's still an emptiness and a void, and I'm really struck by everything that you've shared with us so far, because you don't have that void, you don't have that problem, and it's amazing to hear you articulate your passion for what you do and how you've evolved to get to this place and how you've evolved to get to this place. And I wonder, with everything that you've said about service and you feeling like a key, being in the ignition and being plugged into that source, I really liked that quote. But as you think about everything that you're doing in your life through academia, girl Scouts, as a wife, as a mother, what is it that you want to be known for, or how do you want to be remembered?
Speaker 1:I'm pleased to answer the question. One thing I want to make sure that I do say, though, is that I don't have everything figured out. My creator is still very much working on me, and I am a work in progress. If it were written when I'm no longer here on this earth, I would want it to be said that I was someone who tried to ensure that thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven, which is something that I repeat every day. I would want it to be said that she loved, that she tried, she really tried. Even with all of her shortcomings, which I know I have, she tried, and that she endured till the very end Me here.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As you were talking. It made me think of the last stanza of the Spellman hymn yes To you. So like the line that says and when life's race is one noble work is done.
Speaker 1:Oh god, forever bind our hearts to thine.
Speaker 2:Those words are ingrained in my spirit, in my soul yeah, I'm there with you, remembered because you did the work.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And you truly cared about the work. I want to go a little bit back to what Shelby was saying is that when we talk to so many people or even when we think about ourselves, sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the why and it is hard to get up and get on the grind again. In general, overall, you have, even when you know it's going to be a tough day, even when you know the answers aren't clear, because you're clear on that. You want to have a particular impact. You want to do better for different communities. You're following your passion. Even when it is not clear how it will be monetarily sustainable, you know that doors will open. You have a yes and attitude and you'll walk through them and it will all work out, and I think that's something that I've very much learned from you. I didn't really have a question, it was more of a comment.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love your comment and I thank you.
Speaker 2:But I'll pass it back to Shelby.
Speaker 3:And I also wanted to say I appreciate what you said about being a work in progress. That also resonates. We're all a work in progress. We're constantly learning. Nobody's perfect. It's what you do when making those mistakes. What are the lessons gained from those mistakes and how do you avoid repeating them? So definitely appreciate that you're a work in progress, but we also believe in giving people their flowers that you're a work in progress, but we also believe in giving people their flowers, and so I give you your flowers in commending your approach to life and just how clear you are on your why. But, as you mentioned being a work in progress and the fact that we all have challenges that we have to navigate and manage, how do you maintain your resiliency and your passion in everything that you're doing, as you're trying to live your life purpose and constantly striving to be better, to do better? How do you stay resilient?
Speaker 1:So I try to stay resilient by reflecting on my creator and I also think about my ancestors daily. There's not one day that goes by that I don't think about the sacrifices they made, the very tremendous sacrifices. I think about the unjust murder of my great grandfather right, and it becomes fuel for me, and I really lean into the prayers of my great grandmother. I know for sure she prayed for me my husband's prayers Sometimes things will be really rough We'll call, or that morning before going in, he will hold my hand and we will pray together. My parents' prayers there is not a doubt in my mind that they pray for me. I'll never forget I had such a trying moment. I went to visit my parents. My dad took me by my hands, we kneeled there next to the couch and he prayed for me.
Speaker 1:And I also have a beautiful team of sisters, and guess what? We pray together. We encourage each other. That's really it Also disconnecting and resetting from the world, ensuring not to burn out. We know we can't pour from an empty cup, and so taking walks, that's really sacred for me. It's one of my favorite things, taking walks in nature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I appreciate that. So many of the conversations we've had on the podcast have talked about really having community, having clarity, and so I hear that in you, that you are working and it's an everyday task, that you're doing your best for yourself and along with your family, your village, to create that scenario, that solid stool. But I want to switch gears for just a second, sure, and say that we talked a lot about, okay, your foundations and what you've done and how you've become who you are. But when you are doing all of these things that you're doing, leading all of these organizations that you're leading, what are, at the end of the day, a couple of attributes that you feel you are utilizing as good leadership?
Speaker 1:So a couple of the attributes would be one and I had to learn this after trying to hold on to things that I deemed very private, but being vulnerable. So there was a time in my life where I would keep things and just not open up. Even the first question you asked me I would never share that. They didn't know the level of authenticity, they had no idea. But when I opened up and I shared stories about my own upbringing, things that I'd experienced, being vulnerable, so not running from or being ashamed really of what I might've wanted to keep hidden, that truly helped, or I should say is helping, because, like I said, still a work in progress along the leadership journey. So letting that vulnerability be one of the greatest strengths, and then also having vision, with a plan and consistent perseverance that never runs out, even if I needed to take a break. And so it's all those things together. Certainly I just have to reiterate this very important piece about enduring love through every threat. So those would be the main attributes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's interesting that you picked vulnerability and vision with a plan perseverance. I think quite a few of our guests have shared that being vulnerable is critical right. No one wants to follow someone who's putting on airs or is a phony. That's not going to lead to good results for anyone. And having a vision, knowing where you're going.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:It's also critical, because if you don't know, as the leader, then how do you expect the people who are following you to know what the end goal is, debra Neate? With all of that said, we want to shift to a more lighthearted part of the conversation, called our lightning round, and I will start by asking, since you are an academic, what is your favorite book?
Speaker 1:So I will share that. My favorite book related to leading with passion and purpose is a book called Better, not Perfect, and this book is written by Dr Shea Butler. She is a sorority sister of mine, quite dynamic and amazing, a member of Zeta Phi, beta Sorority Incorporated, but she talks about her own crucible moments and she clarifies how every trial right, every challenge is really an opportunity, and so in these opportunities, we learn about our power and we learn about who it is that we truly do aim to be, and so she focuses on authenticity, which is something that we're talking about. She focuses on self-acceptance, loving your true self-care in this text. So definitely better, not perfect, for the leadership aspect.
Speaker 2:I will have to pick that up. Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Incorporated, because my lightning round question for you is a little different than lightning round questions we normally ask folks. I just wanted to know how does your membership in the organization, your participation, your leadership in the organization help to inform your leadership elsewhere?
Speaker 1:How does my leadership in the organization help to inform my leadership elsewhere? I'll say that my leadership everywhere is consistent in that it's guided by the principles that I earlier mentioned. But with regard to Zeta Phi, beta, sorority Incorporated, these ladies are beautiful souls with values and principles that I truly do believe in. So scholarship service that's part of Zeta Phi, beta, sorority Incorporated. Sisterhood, finer womanhood these principles are something I stand by through every thread of my being, and so they will remain with me, certainly throughout my leadership as well. They taught me about togetherness, that we're all in this together. There's no one soul that really reigns over anyone else when there's value in every human. Yeah, I think that aligns with my experience as well. That wasn't really a lightning round, it's fine.
Speaker 3:Last question If you could just summarize everything and boil it down to a couple of words, fill in the blank.
Speaker 1:Leadership is.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to do. A couple of words.
Speaker 1:It's fine. I don't know how to do that. You can answer it. I can sum it down to one and just say love Leadership is loving ourselves and those we lead enough to want the very best for ourselves and aiding in our journeys toward becoming the very best version of ourselves, not someone else. Together, that's it.
Speaker 2:That works. I love it. Thank you for joining us. It really means a lot thank you, this was fun.
Speaker 3:Y'all are awesome, thank you, hey, everyone, it's Shelby. I am so full as I reflect on everything we just heard from Debra Nee. If I could summarize three key themes that were interwoven in everything she said, they would be community, service and love. The way in which she has embedded these principles into her leadership philosophy has driven her brand of success. It has worked for her and in many ways, it has worked for me.
Speaker 3:Hearing her explanations of how faith and her upbringing influenced her, especially her comments on community and how there's enough for everyone at the table, reminded me of a quote that I keep in my leadership toolkit. My husband shared it with me about 10 years ago, and I posted it on a banner in an office I once led because I wanted it to be a visible affirmation of what I stood for. I'm not sure where he got it from, but it goes like this it's amazing how much can be accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit. This type of thinking runs counter to how, even in my current line of work, focusing on the greater good and sharing credit aren't always the secrets to getting better opportunities or promotions, and yet somehow this mantra has benefited me at various junctures in my career, something else that Debra Nee shared, which struck a chord, which I'll pose as a question Are you plugged into the source of your fulfillment? What is in your ignition? Or, better phrased, what are you igniting?
Speaker 3:I don't have answers to these questions just yet, but I'm striving to find them in my own leadership journey and I challenge you to think about your why. What drives you, what makes you punch the air when you wake up, and how are you driving others as you lead them? As always, belinda and I are so appreciative of your support and feedback. Please subscribe to the Leadership Tea wherever you get your podcasts, leave a review and share our episodes with your friends. Keep building that community of purpose as you lead. We look forward to sipping wisdom and stirring success with you again soon.
