Leadership Tea
The Leadership Tea podcast is where powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs through informal conversations about what it takes to reach the executive level. Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Transform and Thrive in 2025
Get your FREE copy of our Strategic Change Workbook here.
This episode explores essential strategies for leading through turbulent times, focusing on acceptance, emotional regulation, and radical honesty.
Listeners gain insights on effectively communicating with their teams and prioritizing self-care while navigating uncertainty:
• Emphasizing acceptance and control
• The importance of radical honesty with teams
• Necessity of over-communication during uncertainty
• Strategic prioritization to manage chaos
• Finding ways to replenish personal energy and resilience
Find us on YouTube!
We publish new episodes every other Wednesday.
Follow us on Instagram @Leadership_Tea for more inspiration and insights.
Learn more about us and the podcast at www.stirringsuccess.com
Hey everyone, thanks for joining us and happy holidays. Sector, you're leading in. It just feels like something is off and unstable and you're trying to lead while swimming against the tide, against a number of different forces. We had a talk in which we thought about how have we led during uncertain times and what are the kind of concepts and skills that we relied upon to get through that, and we've narrowed that down to a couple of things like acceptance and controlling what you can control, as well as radical honesty over communicating with a purpose, prioritizing and developing a strategy, and also thinking about your own resilience and how you can replenish yourself, and also thinking about your own resilience and how you can replenish yourself. So we have written all of this down, along with a series of questions that you may want to ask yourself about each, and we've posted that on our website as our kind of gift to you. You'll find a link to that in the show notes wherever you're receiving this, and you can also find it on our website.
Speaker 2:So with that, let me hand it over to Shelby. Thanks, belinda, and season's greetings to everyone. Happy holidays. As Belinda said, we've been reflecting a lot on how can we give something to our audience as we all prepare to end 2024 and go into 2025. And one of the steps that we want to go over is acceptance and control. This is a concept that we came up with because Belinda and I have been talking about the turbulent times that we're living in right now Not when you just think about what's happening here in the United States, but globally. There are wars breaking out, people are being assassinated. Things just don't feel right, and so the first concept again that we wanted to go over is acceptance and control.
Speaker 2:What do you do when you know that there's nothing you can do? Things are so off that, no matter how hard you try, there's absolutely nothing that you can do as a person, on an individual level, to change the chaos that's around you. What do you do in those circumstances? And the first step is that you accept it. Sometimes things are not going to go well. We like to live in this space where everything is great we're excelling in our careers, everything's fine at home, our health is great, our kids are great If we have kids, our family, our friends, everyone is doing well and excelling.
Speaker 2:But sometimes life just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes things are not positive and life just feels not right, like how we're feeling right now, and there've been times, as I reflect on my career, there've been moments where I absolutely felt like things were spinning beyond my control and I didn't know what to do. I consider myself to be calm, composed, self-assured, but sometimes things are just so chaotic and off kilter that there's nothing that you can do. The first step is really to accept that. Accept that for yourself, accept that for the team If you're leading a team, accept that within your family situations.
Speaker 2:The first really critical move in navigating change through turbulent times is to know that sometimes things are going to be beyond your control, is to know that sometimes things are going to be beyond your control. And so how can you figure out what is within your control? And it could be something very small, it could be something very personal, it can be something that may seem insignificant, but the key is to really hone in on that one thing that is within your sphere of control and focus on that, as opposed to spinning in response to everything else that's going on, that you know, that you can't control.
Speaker 1:I agree with you, shelby, and I think part of being able to take a moment and know what you can control is also about regulating your emotions. What you can control is you and how you receive that and how you react to it. That's one of the first things you can control is you and how you receive that and how you react to it. That's one of the first things you can control. You don't necessarily have to retreat into a. There are things out of my control and things are bad, so I guess I'm just going to give up. It is reframing it. You still have to exist. You still have to get up every day. The team still has to show up Reframing it. It is suboptimal the conditions that we're in, but here's how we are going to move forward. Here's where we can have an impact. Here's where we can show value.
Speaker 2:Yes, the reframing piece is critical, and I think that's a good segue into the next concept that we wanted to discuss, which is radical honesty. Sometimes you're not going to have the answers. You just aren't. Whether you're a leader, a follower, a colleague, no matter what industry you're in, sometimes things are so turbulent and chaotic that your answer is I don't know, and that is an uncomfortable place to be in, particularly for those of us who thrive and pride ourselves on being assured and knowing we're going to take this step, then we're going to do this thing, and then we're going to do that thing. Sometimes that's just not going to be possible, and so it's really important to be radically honest with your team when you don't have the answers.
Speaker 2:And this has come up a couple of times, including recently, where some of the people on my team will say, oh, shelby must know what's going on. Shelby, maybe she's keeping information from us because she doesn't want us to overreact. No, I actually I don't have the answers to this specific question that you have, but what I can answer is this what I do know is this or we're going to reframe, as you said, belinda, we're going to reframe the strategies, the priorities that we have set out for ourselves to adjust to the current operating environment, and it takes courage, of course, to be radically honest and to tell your team that you don't have all of the answers and not hide from having uncomfortable conversations, especially when you don't know all the answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think this goes back to something we've mentioned in previous episodes, that there is strength in vulnerability yeah, do which is why that style of leadership is not always effective. I can think of really clear examples in my mind where I've had to sit at the head of the table and say, hey look, we are in uncharted territory. I cannot predict what's going to happen a week from now, a month from now, six weeks from now, so all we can do is deal with the facts that we have right now. We can develop A and B scenarios and we're just going to have to remain honest and flexible and adaptable with each other, and we're going to have to communicate with each other and just be sincere and assume that everyone is coming to the table with the best of intentions, because you really can't get through the difficult moments without those things.
Speaker 1:I don't have all the answers. I have the same amount of information that you do. We're all just going to have to wing it and survive and rely on our strongest skills, the foundation and the values that we have to navigate through this. Here we go One team, one fight. I just think that the more turbulent the situation, the more radical you have to be in your honesty with people and make it safe for them to be radically honest with you.
Speaker 2:And not be defensive, because if you're being radically honest and you're welcoming that honesty from your team, guess what Some of the things that they may have to share with you you're not going to like and you may be the enemy in their minds, because they are struggling with navigating turbulence and struggling with navigating uncertainty, and so you really have to put on additional armor as the leader to be able to take that incoming and understand that some people will not adapt to change as easily as you may want them to, and you have to just be okay with that, even if it means that in that moment you are enemy number one and to do the best that you can because you don't have all the answers. Some people are not going to be comfortable with that and will need to target someone as a means of dealing with their own frustration and emotional regulation. That leads to another point that we've made repeatedly, because it's so applicable to everything Over-communication, over-communication. Even if you've said it a thousand times, even if you think you've been clear in your instructions. You've been clear in your guidance. You've been clear in saying I don't have all the answers, but here's what I know. Repeat what you know, say it, rinse, repeat, we can't stress this enough especially when things are uncertain, it is not time to go into your dark hole. People are depending on you.
Speaker 2:If you're in a leadership position and this is tough it's tough to have the spotlight on you and to have the responsibility of communicating when you don't have all the answers. And yet your team is relying on you to step up and demonstrate leadership and to demonstrate that there is some stability at the top of the food chain, despite the turbulence that we're experiencing. At least I know that my leader is being transparent. It's not time to go into a communication vacuum. That is when you need to be communicating the most and make sure that your messages are clear and consistent Again, so that people have a sense of OK, this is what leadership is thinking. If things change, if we have to course correct or adjust, I can depend on my leader to communicate those changes to me as we go forward.
Speaker 1:When you accept what's happening and you're radically honest with everybody and you're over communicating, you're able to help the team navigate through all of that Right. I know that you're hearing a lot on social media or from your friends in the hallway. There's a lot of rumors going around, but here's how I suggest that we react to it. And again, going back to that radical honesty, that vulnerability, here's what I'm thinking. Team.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But since I'm not the smartest person at the table and I've made an effort to bring in and hire the smartest people I know to surround myself with then what am I not seeing in this plan? How should I tweak it? Is there a different direction we should be going in? That's part of communicating, too right, and if you were communicating and keeping everybody calm and people had faith that everything you know that you can share, you've shared and that you're being honest with them about what's behind the decisions that you're making and they feel part of the process, that's going to really calm things down.
Speaker 2:Several things you said just then reminded me of the importance of communicating the why, like what's the why, as opposed to just saying, okay, we're doing this thing, it makes sense in your mind, but have you communicated it to the team so that they understand the context in which you're making certain decisions? That is so critical, especially when things are uncertain, especially when change is happening at such a pace that people can't keep up where they feel lost. It's really on you, as the leader, to make sure that you're explaining the context and over-communicating with purpose. Something else you said, belinda, when it comes to making sure that you have people on your team who are experts in things that you may not be an expert in. That's definitely something that I know that you and I have endeavored to do as leaders.
Speaker 2:But something else when it comes to communicating with your team, something that I've been doing, especially recently, is having someone look at my messages when I'm writing something, when I'm sending something out. I can honestly say I have never sent a mass message without having someone else look at it, not just my boss, but usually someone who is either a peer and oftentimes someone who is a subordinate, to make sure that my tone is not tone deaf, to make sure that I'm hitting things that will resonate, to make sure that I'm not overlooking something that may be the topic of discussion at the water cooler or on certain chat groups that I'm not privy to, but it's important for me to address an element of it as I'm communicating my message to the team.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent, I agree. Whenever I want to send something out, I ask someone who's in the target audience, like to look at it, preferably someone as junior as possible and preferably someone who I've identified as a key influencer within the organization, ie from an organizational standpoint, that's like the most gossipy people, because, also, you want, if people are going to gossip, you might as well set them up with the correct information. The other thing I was thinking about, as you were saying that, though, as you talked about sending written messages out is when you're over-communicating, acknowledge that there's different learning styles. People receive information differently, people react to information differently. Yep, I'll repeat it.
Speaker 2:I'll say it in staff meeting.
Speaker 2:I'll keep repeating in different mediums yeah, we can go on and on with multiple over-communication examples, but as you're communicating with your team in times of turbulence and you're accepting what's going on and you're radically honest, the other component is prioritization and strategy.
Speaker 2:How do you hone in on the one thing, the two things, three things that will make a difference for your team, and how do you pick the battles that are worth fighting for?
Speaker 2:That is a critical responsibility for leading through turbulent times, just knowing that you're not going to win every battle, knowing that you're not going to be able to solve every problem, every single thing that every single person on your team brings to your attention. Or if there are demands, even worse demands being put on you by your organization or your institution, because the institution is responding to the turbulence that is going on around it, how do you ensure that you are prioritizing your workload in a way that doesn't crush your team? And it's really important, as a leader, to know that you're not gonna be able to win every internal or external battle, but that you need to be the compass that sets the stage, that identifies. These are the areas where we can make a difference. These are the areas where we can have an impact and shut out the noise that might prevent you from seeing the bigger picture.
Speaker 1:I was in a space that was going through a lot of external turbulence around me that was affecting my work and my team's work. So every day people were coming into my office or I was going to meetings where people were just like it's changing and I had sticky notes not one like three on my computer monitor that were the bottom line things that I was supposed to be focusing on for the team. So people would come to me and they would say shiny thing, focus on this. And I would look at those sticky notes, notes like does this fit into that? Is this just a shiny note thing? Or if I were to stay adaptable, is this something I should be adapting to?
Speaker 1:Like at least forcing myself to go through an exercise of I have priorities, I have a strategy, as incoming things in this uncertainty are being thrown at me from all different directions. Am I developing a framework, even one that has to move quickly, an agile framework, to deal with that incoming and assess? Is it part of the strategy? Is it what I should be focused on? Is this the direction we need to be moving in? Actually, it's Wednesday. Focus on that. I actually just had a meeting. Now. Focus on this. That is not good for morale and it's not good for getting things done, no, and it adds to the chaos, it contributes to the turbulence and makes things worse.
Speaker 2:It's really on you to set the tone and to have that strategic vision and pull people up from the minutia and getting overwhelmed with a thousand things that can distract them from staying focused. And I was also thinking of something that one of our previous guests said when we were talking about building a team and what success looks like. I think it was the episode with Kendra where she talked about the art of the strategic no and how that is something that can come in handy when you are managing chaos and turbulence Just having the presence of mind to know when to say no, and not just say no for the sake of saying no, but to be strategic in those decisions and really focusing on again, as you said, where can we win, as opposed to just doing everything and trying to be everything to everyone, which was a recipe for disaster, and that actually is a nice way of moving on to our final point on replenishing yourself. When times are tough, when times are turbulent, you have to find ways to focus on you, and I know that this is easier said than done, but even if you're in your office, you're having a bad day.
Speaker 2:Can you take five minutes to step away from your computer? Or to turn your back on your computer and not look at email and not look at everything that's happening on your computer screen, and close your eyes for a few minutes and just breathe? That's something that I do on occasion. Or, as you and I, belinda, have said, sometimes you take a walk, you go for a coffee, and again I'm thinking of things that you can do in the heat of the moment. But obviously it's important to find ways to replenish yourself outside of the confines of your work environment, to make sure that you have the resilience that you need in order to be able to lead your team, because if you're not straight, if you're coming in broken and worn out and tired and distracted and all over the place mentally, you're not gonna be any good for your team. They are going to reflect the energy that you are putting out, and so how can you figure out ways to replenish you whenever you can?
Speaker 1:I 100% agree, and I agree with you in thinking about what are those things you can do in the heat of the moment. Yeah, taking a slow walk to the nearest coffee shop has helped me many a day. Yeah, has helped me many a day. I taught myself how to sew because I needed something on those and I had a job that really felt 24 seven. But for those few moments here and there where I just wanted something, that required a different part of my brain, right, it didn't require the high adrenaline side of my brain, and struggling to learn how to sew was a different struggle. I'm teaching myself how to knit, just the struggle.
Speaker 1:What do I do with these needles Is a different part of my brain. Doesn't take a lot of money, doesn't take a lot of effort. I'm still busy, I still gotta do holiday stuff, family stuff, work stuff, all of the above. But I feel like I'm a better person when, even just for 30 minutes or an hour a day during my commute or something, I get to engage this other side of myself. That way I'm able to better show up for people. Because if you have to stop and this goes back to that first point about emotional regulation you have to get off the ride sometimes. Yes, yeah, and I've done that.
Speaker 2:Sometimes yes, yeah, and I've done that Like sometimes I take breaks from social media, obviously, with the podcast and all of our business ventures. That can be challenging, but I choose how I engage on social media. That is how I've been able to maintain my own resilience and replenish myself. I've been trying to go to the gym on the weekends. I try and prioritize going to the gym. I get up on Saturday, sunday morning for an hour to just work it out on the treadmill or lift weights, and that helps. You have to find the thing that will replenish your energy, that will help you stay calm, stay sane. Otherwise, it's easy to get caught up in the rapture and be a spinning top and I just don't. I don't want to do that. You don't want to spin.
Speaker 1:So, look, I feel like that's a good start. We've written down the questions that we ask ourselves as we go through each of these steps in this workbook that we want to give you. So if you go to our website and look for the strategic change roadmap and we'll put a link to it wherever you're listening to this download it and take the time to ask yourself these questions. Our gift to you is a little something to help you navigate in the early part of 2025.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we think it will help to put those thoughts down on paper and come up with your own roadmap as to how you want to navigate 2025. And Belinda and I again are just thankful to have this opportunity to pour into you to share some of our experiences. I'm grateful for the partnership and the friendship that she and I have, that we're able to sync and vibe off of each other in a way that is just natural.
Speaker 2:We're having conversations in public that we have in private that we've been having in private for years which is why I think it's a gift. It's a gift to be able to do this with you, and I'm glad that we are able to share this gift with others.
Speaker 1:And I'm grateful for our friendship and grateful for our audience and we'll be back with more episodes soon.
Speaker 2:And we look forward to Sipping Wisdom and Stirring Success with you again in 2025. Thank you, bye.
