Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Letting Go of Perfection, Doubling Down on Self-Care | S3 EP1
As they celebrate the first anniversary of the Leadership Tea Podcast, Shelby and Belinda reflect on their responses to and offer practical advice for navigating the current challenging political climate.
Acknowledging the emotional weight of current events, they share personal lessons learned over the past year, focusing on resilience strategies and coping mechanisms. They discuss their struggles and triumphs, while emphasizing the importance of self-care, boundary setting, and letting go of perfection as tools for maintaining well-being.
In this episode:
- Belinda shares the importance of hobbies and creative outlets for managing stress.
- Shelby discusses the importance of spending time on activities that align with personal and professional goals.
- Shelby is making peace with imperfection and is releasing the idea of perfection in all aspects of life.
- They both highlight the importance of giving oneself grace during periods of uncertainty and change.
We publish new episodes every other Wednesday.
Follow us on Instagram @Leadership_Tea for more inspiration and insights.
Learn more about us at stirringsuccess.com
Hey everyone and welcome to the Leadership Tea podcast. We are really excited to be launching our third season and we're also excited that we are celebrating our first year of the podcast. It's an amazing accomplishment for me and Belinda and we're really anticipating what this year is going to bring professionally, personally, as we continue to grow, and we look forward to sharing more insights with all of you and continuing to build this amazing community. As we record the episode for today, we can't help but reflect on how heavy things feel right now.
Shelby:It's an interesting time because, as we look at the success of the podcast and where we're headed in some of our personal ventures, the mood right now in the country feels very weighty. It feels very intense. We have a lot of friends and colleagues who are going through some really tough times right now and we want to acknowledge that. We want to give space for the emotional toll that we know a lot of us are feeling right now, and we thought that we would spend this episode sharing some of the lessons that we learned doing the Leadership Tea podcast over the past year, Lessons that we think are applicable to maintaining resilience and some coping mechanisms that might be of help to you as we reflect on how we are managing this intense time right now.
Belinda:Yeah, shelby, I would agree. I've learned a lot this year about myself, about my leadership style, and a lot about the value that I can bring to the table, and I hope that, as our listeners have gone on this journey with us, that they also have seen growth in themselves and have been able to take some of the lessons that we've shared and apply it to their own experience. When we started this journey, really we felt like we were talking to ourselves right, providing information that we wish we had received or insights that we wish we had received earlier in our careers, and I hope that it continues to bring that value to everyone, no matter where they are in their careers or what their focus is.
Shelby:Yeah, absolutely so. Do you want to start with? What's your first lesson, your first coping mechanism?
Belinda:In this moment I feel ping ponged about, right. I feel that things happen and maybe I'm happy now, but then I feel a bit despondent, like I'm just being carried by these waves of news and information overload. So I need to slow down and focus my brain in a way that isn't connected to reacting or fight or flight or cortisol. That calms me. So I thought a lot about hobbies. So it's almost like reflecting back into the 2020 space. I went into 2020 not really having a lot of hobbies. I had just been so dedicated to work and my family life that that's all I made time for. So 2020 really taught me that it was okay to explore other interests and that I was a better version of myself when my brain got to practice in different ways. So I am continuing to knit Right. Yes, my latest effort is to try to make a do-rag, which sounds crazy, but it's super cute.
Shelby:Not at all. I'm loving it. I need to put my order in for the birthday.
Belinda:I keep seeing these crocheted or knitted do-rags on social media and I'm like, yes, I need that. I have like just the right spring and summer outfits to go with that. I've had some days recently where I wanted to break out the old sewing machine, which gives me a lot of trouble. I'm trying to teach myself to sew, so it's very difficult because I feel that stressed and that unmoored and I just want to think about something that's low stakes but yet gives me a sense of accomplishment. So I would offer that, in uncertain times, finding something that allows you to focus on something you can control in a positive way and create in a positive way is very beneficial.
Shelby:Yeah, a low stakes accomplishment, but you're doing something fun and enjoyable, and in times like this, it's important to have a hobby, some sort of outlet to let out the stress and the anxiety, to have some sort of release valve, if you will, to let it all out. So what about you? The thing that I focused on a lot last year is understanding the value of my time, and what I mean by that is I have always felt this tension between being too approachable, like being there for everyone, absorbing everyone's needs, absorbing everyone's concerns, whether I was in a leadership position or not. And as I've grown in my journey and in doing this podcast with you and the longer I've been in executive roles, I've really come to understand the value of my time, how I spend my time, who I spend my time with, who I spend my time on, what I spend my time doing. It's increasingly important to me and I'm really beginning to understand that time is a precious commodity, and that lesson has really helped me in current moments of anxiety and intensity when it comes to thinking about how I spend my time Not doom scrolling, not being overly consumed with the news, being overly consumed with the news, not getting caught up in rumor mills and people swirling around because they're having a difficult time managing a lot of the changes that are being thrown at them and just being really conscious of how I'm allocating my time, whether I'm on social media.
Shelby:Well, I'm not on social media as much right now because of the fast that we're doing with our church. But even when I take moments to make sure that I'm up to date with the news, just by virtue of my profession, I limit what I'm taking in to maintain my sanity, to maintain my sense of self and being grounded my sense of self and being grounded and just making a conscious effort to focus on how I'm allocating my time has been huge.
Belinda:This idea of understanding your time and its value is an important part of setting up boundaries that contribute in a positive way to your mental and emotional health. Right and similar to what you just described, I used to I thought doing the emotional labor at work was the value that I brought, and really it was not, and it was draining. You can't put a price on that.
Shelby:And that's not to say that I'm not spending time on people who mean something to me. If anything, I'm just being more selective.
Belinda:Yeah, same here and it's beneficial.
Belinda:Yeah. My next thought on this topic is really truly taking care of myself. So we've talked in past episodes about investing in ourselves, and I so wholeheartedly subscribe to that, that there's this whole village of people who need to support you, but there's also some work that you have to do yourself, and so I will endeavor, as I feel the pressure increase on me, I will endeavor to work out a little more. You know, the church fast you just talked about has been really helpful in reminding me about how quickly we can see the benefits of eating healthier and being more conscious about what we put in our bodies. I mean, I just feel so much better and so much more clear headed as a result of participating in this fast. So instead of being upset and having ice cream with rum on it, you know, and going the extra mile to do it, I can find other, more healthy outlets for my stress, and that's something I really want to work on this year, and I think it's something that is going to help me get through this period of intensity and turbulence.
Shelby:Yeah, what you're saying on the importance of taking care of your physical self. It dovetails with other themes that we've talked about in previous episodes when it comes to making sure that your mind, body and spirit are in alignment, and I agree with you completely that your physical health is paramount, especially when things are just feeling so out of control. My second lesson, my second coping mechanism, is a mindset of not being afraid to fail. I feel like I've spent we spent so much time being perfect, or at least trying to be perfect. Making sure that our presentation skills are perfect, how we show up is perfect, the memos that we write. We're always joking about writing the perfect memo, but it's a thing. It's a thing in what we do Making sure those memos are perfect, making sure those briefings are perfect, making sure those meetings are running on time, making sure that, whatever it is that we're being asked to do, we go above and beyond, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Shelby:I still feel in my DNA that excellence is a habit, and that's part of who I am, but I've also learned that there are a lot of people who are mediocre and are getting by and are doing just fine, and so it's like well, why am I busting my butt every day, doing the most, when so-and-so and so are over here doing the least and they're still moving forward, they're still advancing, they're still getting recognition, they're still getting promotions, they're still excelling. Doing the least, failing forward, and so it's really been a hard lesson for me again, not to minimize my standards of excellence for myself, but to just be less afraid of a failure and to put aside this pressure that I've put on myself for so long to be this perfect person and just know that I'm enough as I am.
Shelby:I'm more than enough and I don't have anything to prove to anyone, and that reminder right now has been an affirmation for me to really hold it together and to hold space for myself. And you know as I try to do my best in managing a lot of the chaos that's happening around me.
Belinda:I agree. I think we have spent so much energy over the course of our careers trying to do double what was asked of us.
Shelby:Yeah.
Belinda:Yeah, that's just not how I'm going into 2020. My 75% is probably most people's 100. So I don't have to live at 120. No, you don't All the time, and we can't go through this period living at 120.
Shelby:No, because we won't be any good to anyone. More importantly, we won't be any good to ourselves and, importantly, we won't be any good to ourselves and it's not worth an early grave, right, honestly?
Belinda:It's important for everybody to know that we don't have all the answers and how to navigate periods of uncertainty Like we are learning and adjusting and adapting as well. Some days, our three words for the year are enough to carry us and other days they're not, and we are trying to be very mindful about what we need on any given day, and I think we are both doing a good job of giving ourselves grace and space. That some days you just can't meet all of the goals and expectations that you set for yourself or others set for you. Sometimes you made it through the day is the win Absolutely.
Belinda:I got out of bed, I didn't put the covers over my head, I kept it moving today I came home that bottle of uncle nearest caught my eye and I was like that would be interesting over ice cream, no but I restrained myself. I'm not doing that. I'm going to Peloton or hydrate and drink my water.
Belinda:Yes, I just really can't emphasize enough that your best two day or just what you've got in the tank today Today, this is good enough. We're good Forgive've got in the tank today Today, this is good enough. Let's we're good Forgive yourself, celebrate yourself, yes. So, on that note, as we wrap up, the only ask I have of our audience today and celebrating this one year of the Leadership Tea with us is that, if you are listening to us, I would ask if you could go over to YouTube and subscribe to our channel. You'll look up the Leadership Tea podcast on YouTube and subscribe, and it would be really cool if you could also, you know, watch and like something as well. But at a minimum, if you could subscribe and follow us there, we would really appreciate it, because we see that channel as a sign of our continued growth and change. We want to continue to try to bring you something extra and something more. Bringing the visual element of this podcast to you is part of that development. A hundred percent.
Shelby:And if you prefer to continue listening to us, of course, we welcome our listeners wherever you get your podcast, whether it's on Spotify or Apple or our website, StirringSuccesscom. We just really appreciate everyone, all of the feedback, all of the comments. We're grateful for this community and we look forward to Sipping Wisdom and Stirring Success with you again real soon.
