Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
For Middle Managers: Finding Your Power in the Messy Middle | S3 EP5
This episode is dedicated to middle managers, who face unique pressures in the "messy middle" between upper management's demands and their teams' needs.
Shelby and Belinda know from personal experience that being a middle manager is tough. Drawing from their own experiences, they offer practical advice on navigating the messy middle.
In this episode:
- Balancing support for your team with helping your boss look good
- Adapting your management style to meet the moment
- Challenging times are when you build your leadership skills
- Staying focused on the mission rather than getting caught up in "what-if" scenarios
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This episode is for all of you middle managers out there because, quite frankly, you are the meat in the sandwich, and sometimes that sandwich is nasty. Hey everyone, welcome to the Leadership Tea podcast, where we talk about not only what it takes to reach the executive level, but how to thrive once you get there. We hope that you are enjoying our episodes. We invite you to subscribe and please consider leaving a review and sharing the content with your friends. So this week we are going to talk about what we like to call the messy middle. Belinda and I have been middle managers before. It's kind of a rite of passage. In terms of reaching the executive level. You have to have been, you know, a team lead, a supervisor, a deputy director, whether in the public or the private sector. You are the meat in the sandwich, and sometimes that sandwich is nasty, sometimes it tastes rotten, and especially right now, with a lot of the changes that we're seeing throughout the world and in the United States, being a middle manager, frankly it sucks, it's hard, it's tough. You're taking it on the chin from multiple directions, and so we designed this episode with you all in mind, and we wanted to give a few tips on how to manage the messy middle in times of turbulence.
Shelby:And the first point that I want to share is, because you're in the middle as a manager, it's up to you to look out for the people below you, but also to make your boss look good, and this is one of those things where it's tricky, right, because a lot of the people Belinda and I know are type A personalities.
Shelby:They're used to being in the limelight, they're used to getting things done, they're used to taking action, and when you're in middle management, it's really on you to take a step back and not be in the limelight.
Shelby:Make sure that you're supporting the people who are reporting to you, but also make sure that you're being an ally to your boss and making your boss look good, met the work is being produced in a timely and tight fashion. Everything that's within your power to make your boss look good is what you should be focusing on, while at the same time, developing the team that's reporting to you. And sometimes this can be a little tricky if you and your boss don't necessarily see eye to eye. Perhaps there's a personality conflict, perhaps you just don't get along, you're not vibing, and if that's the case for some of you middle managers. Right now, the best advice I can give you is to just stay out of the way. Let your boss do what they need to do and you focus on the team that's depending on you to be a buffer between the boss and them.
Belinda:It's really hard to do, but everything you described is just really necessary, especially in difficult periods like this. What I would highlight is this idea of and people who I've managed are going to probably laugh when they hear this, because I say it all the time but it's meet people where they are right. You cannot manage people the way that you necessarily want to be managed. You have to kind of understand what the organizational culture is, what the team culture is and what the team realities are, and adjust your management style to meet the moment in that way so that people really hear you and what you're saying and doing really resonates with them.
Belinda:For me, an easy example that I can think of is when I worked. This was initially when I arrived in Togo and I was working there. I had all these ideas about what a great manager should do. In many ways, I was reacting to bad managers that I had had in the past, and so I was like I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do these, and it just wasn't resonating, like I could feel in meetings, like people were just, they weren't making eye contact with me, they seemed uncomfortable.
Belinda:I thought I was creating these really interactive, very democratic workspaces. So it took a couple of conversations, like I spoke to the team right and, you know, pulled people aside what do you guys need from me? And it turned out that what they needed would never have come to mind for me. It's a good thing that I asked. When I adjusted my style, I saw the team blossom and we were able to achieve so much right Just by changing my outlook.
Belinda:And that's especially important when you are managing in a moment where people are bringing their emotions, they're bringing the news cycle, they're bringing lots of things into the workplace. You have got to be able to steer them and the way you're steered is not necessarily the way they are steered. So just being really cognizant of that and just talking to people and keeping the lines of communication open, especially with your key influencers within your office or your unit or whatever it is and I think that's another important piece, shelby, that I would mention is really knowing the heartbeat of the team and who are the people who can help you influence appropriately, like who are your ambassadors.
Shelby:Yeah, it's so, so important. Communication, again, is something that we have emphasized in all of our episodes and it's especially important right now. I liked your point on meeting people where they are. It's so critical because a lot of times we're so accustomed to this is what's best for me, this is what's best for my circumstances and where I am, and we forget. It's not about you. Especially when you're a middle manager, you really have to take a back seat and focus on the greater good and the people that are around you.
Shelby:As you're meeting people where they are, you also have to meet the moment, where the moment is, and what I mean by that is a lot of times you find yourself in situations that you don't like, situations that you can't control, situations that are not ideal, situations that you did not envision you would be in or have to deal with. Sometimes the situation is what it is and not what you wish it to be, and the more that you wish it to be something else, it's just going to interfere in your ability to stay focused on the mission and to lead the people that are depending on you and again to be that meat in the middle where your boss is depending on you to do all the things and the people below you are depending on you to do all the things. And if you're off in la-la land thinking about, oh it should have been this way or that way, or what if it could have been different, or this isn't what I thought it would be, instead of focusing on what is the situation that is confronting you in the moment, you're just not going to be in a good position to make a difference for the team, for your boss and, least of all, for yourself. I remember, during the height of the pandemic, being in an office situation where we were supposed to work in a renovated office. Everything was going to be beautiful, we were going to have the latest technology, all the bells and whistles, and all of that went by the wayside during the pandemic because work shut down, the world shut down, and we happened to be working in an office where we were an emergency 24-7 operation, and so we didn't have the luxury of staying at home and teleworking. So not only did our operating environment change, and not only were we not working in the renovated office space that we thought that we would be working in, but everything completely shifted in a way that no one could have predicted, no one could have expected, and it would not have done anyone any good to be stuck in daydreaming about the situations that they thought that they were going to be working in, when that just wasn't.
Shelby:It just wasn't the hand that we were dealt, and so I would encourage people right now, especially right now, as you're finding yourself in trying situations. A lot of us are dealing with things that are being thrown at us that we had no idea, no way of knowing, no way of anticipating. It's not going to do you any good to get caught up in all the what ifs. You have to deal with the situation. You have to find the courage and the strength to meet the moment where it is and not create moments in your head that could have been better or whatever it was that you were envisioning that you would be doing. It's just not going to work out, and you have to accept that. You have to deal with reality. It's just not going to work out.
Belinda:And you have to accept that. You have to deal with reality. Yeah, I agree with you. There are many times in my career where I've had to say to myself, like OK, I've been handing some lemons. Like how am I going to turn this into a lemonade, maybe even strawberry lemonade, like how am I going to turn this into something, even though we are, like, definitely experiencing a period of a lot of change, and so it seems like we have to dig into that moment a lot.
Belinda:Now, I will say, in every managerial position I've been in, I've had those moments where I've had to say this isn't what I signed up for, but this is what I have to do. Right, it's not illegal, it's not unethical, it's not. It's just not what I would have preferred and that's you just got to do it. It's about just staying focused on the mission and tuning out the noise, which I feel like I've said before here, but it just it's like one of those things you learn in managerial kindergarten and it's just going to carry you through every situation. And I'm going to lean on an example from that same office Shelby and I'll say, during one of the government shutdowns, having to ask people, which was also in a winter, during a winter.
Belinda:Yeah, oh, did it snow. I apologize, I still need you to come to work. Can you come to work Also? Can you work 12 hours Also? I'm not sure when we're going to pay you, also not sure if we're going to pay you overtime. When we do pay you, anyway, thanks, can you get here? That is not pleasant for me to say.
Shelby:Yeah.
Belinda:And I definitely would have contorted myself in many different ways to try not to ask that right. How can I change the situation? How can I fix this situation? Can I work instead and do this thing? But sometimes, no matter what you can try to pull every arrow out of your quiver, you've still got to make that ask. That's really hard. I find that it's helpful.
Belinda:Again, going back to communication, it's really contextualized things for people where you can. I understand that I don't know when you're going to get paid, and I don't feel good about that either. Also, I don't know when I'm going to get paid. Whatever you read in the newspaper is what I know. But yet we all agreed that we would do this work even under these types of conditions, and we didn't expect those conditions to actually materialize. But here they are and the forces are just greater than us.
Belinda:There again, every time I've managed, there's been some situation like that right, and so people are bringing their anger, their sadness, their worry, the frustrations of their family, et cetera, with them to the workplace and expressing that in many different ways, and it degrades their performance. It does a lot of things, and so you have to help people to see that, like. I know that something just happened in the news cycle that has us all shaken, but we're here because we have to do x. Like we gotta stay focused on x. I know that you just received an email that made us all upset, but we still have to do X. Is there something I can do to help you do X? Like we're still responsible for it? It still has to get done, and you have to model that for your team, and so you have to take care of yourself, though, too, because it means that you're taking on a lot.
Belinda:People are throwing incoming emotions and stuff at you as a middle manager. I don't like it. It's not fair. I don't want to do this thing, and you've got to push them, and that's so exhausting. I mean just thinking about it. I mean, during that period, I was like I told people I was like a Victorian novel.
Shelby:Like I just took to the bed. Yeah right, I'm home. I hear you. Yes, sleep one out. For me as well, it was like do I sleep or do I get something to eat?
Belinda:exhaustion one out it was like ice cream and exhaustion and those are good, so you have to be really cognizant about like, how am I taking care of myself so that I can be focused and keep the team focused and get us through this moment?
Shelby:Yeah, and I know that we have stressed getting through the moment, meeting people where they are in the moment.
Shelby:I do want to remind our middle managers that this is a moment in time. It doesn't feel like it right now, but you are building the resilience and the skills and the stamina that you will need, especially if you are aspiring to become an executive. You are earning your worth right now as a middle manager. Being in between people who are looking to you for guidance, being that ally for your boss, or getting out of their way so that they can do what they need to do for your organization, and not managing people the way that you would want to be managed, but managing them in the way that they need you to manage them. These are all skills that will prepare you for greater levels of responsibility. So we just encourage people to hang in there. Times are not easy right now, but we hope that you're finding community through the podcast. We hope that you're building community wherever you are, whether it's in your office, your friends, your family, your village however you define your village. We hope that you are getting the support that you need in times like this.
Belinda:It's so difficult to be a manager right now, so please do develop those systems of support. Thank you for joining us and sipping wisdom and stirring success with us. If you think that there are others who could benefit from this podcast, please share it with us. If you think that there are others who could benefit from this podcast, please share it with them. We really are creating this as a labor of love, to share the things that we learned, that hopefully you don't have to learn the hard way like we did, and if you found this to be helpful or interesting, we would really appreciate it if you would subscribe and leave us a comment. Let us know what resonated with you and what you'd like to hear more of. We're really open to your ideas and your needs as we develop content. We'll be back soon with another episode. Until then, we look forward to your comments and your thoughts. We'll see you soon.
