Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Don't crash out or burn out! Reclaiming your peace in the chaos | S3 EP11
Belinda and Shelby acknowledge the current speed of change and wild news cycle, and the emotional toll that it can take. They share practical steps they are taking to prevent crashing out and to improve their well-being.
They emphasize that while awareness of external events is important, protecting your inner peace and mental health is paramount to effectively show up for yourself and your teams.
Embracing intentional self-care and a future-focused outlook can help you stay sane and lead with clarity, even when the world feels chaotic.
What will you do this summer to avoid crashing out in a world that feels chaotic?
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Welcome to the Leadership Tea, where we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level and be a powerful leader.
Speaker 1:We're here to share our journey and our insights, our triumphs and even our tough lessons learned. I'm Belinda and I'm Shelby, so today we thought we would talk about the things that we use in our lives to not crash out, because things are kind of crazy right now. We've talked a lot in recent episodes about leading through change and how do you take care of yourself and how do you take care of your teams. So you've seen those messages from us, but despite all of that, there is just a great deal of change happening across sectors at a really fast pace. There's a lot of information coming to us from many different directions that can take us across a range of emotions constantly, and I think it's really important as leaders that we acknowledge that. I think it's really important as leaders that we acknowledge that we find ways to be aware of that and take actions accordingly, so that we can show up for our teams in ways that are productive and helpful. Shelby, what do you think?
Speaker 2:You know, as we look at what's happening around us and at the time of this recording, there are protests happening in Los Angeles and we want to be sensitive to current events. You know, based on our professional backgrounds, we made a living. We're making a living based on staying up to date with current events and what's happening in the world, so we just want to be mindful of some of the things that are taking place in the United States right now and, at the same time, like Belinda said, we also want to talk about how we maintain our own resilience. Like two things can be true at the same time. Not so great things are happening and we feel empathy, we feel concerned for what other people are going through and, at the same time, we also have our own lives to maintain and we want to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves in a way that enables us to be good mothers, good wives, good professionals, good entrepreneurs, good workers all the various roles that we are responsible for carrying out. We want to make sure that we are not crashing and burning, despite some of the chaos that we're seeing and witnessing around us, and so we thought we would share a couple of things that Belinda and I are doing to prevent ourselves from crashing out, and so I'll start.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I'm doing right now is being intentional about saying no. I've said in previous episodes that how I use my time and who I use my time on and with is important to me, and one of the things that I've been doing recently is really thinking about when I commit to something, is it serving me and the other person who has asked me to do something? Because usually I'm all about service. I'm all about helping people. I'm all about saying yes, I want to be helpful. I want to be there for people when they ask me to do something. This year, I'm taking a slightly different approach in making sure that I'm setting boundaries and taking care of myself. It really is a form of self-care to be diligent and intentional about what I'm saying yes to and not feeling guilty about saying no, and so I'm really guarding myself, taking a different approach to taking care of myself by feeling less guilty about saying no.
Speaker 1:I would say similarly I am working hard at being more disciplined and intentional about my schedule, meaning that I say yes too much.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do, I have to work on that. But to be able to say, especially in the context of entrepreneurship, this is when I'm going to reserve time to do X Y Z things that I need to do for my business, of time to do X Y Z things that I need to do for my business, here's time that I'm going to be able to dedicate to clients and just having that be a bit more thought out and rigid. And a part of that is knowing that I need to ask for help, and so I'm working on getting someone to assist me with that, because I'm not expert at that and I need help. There's a lot of things that I'm trying to juggle, so I think asking for help is an integral part of that. That idea of being more disciplined about space and scheduling and meetings is not allowing the news cycle and things like that to take over, especially when I need to be present for my clients.
Speaker 1:So, it's like a news alert hits and then it's like two minutes before I'm supposed to log into something or meet someone somewhere, right Walking in the door and something comes across the radio. That's wild, as I'm stepping out of the car and so just taking more time to also settle myself and reminding myself of what I can control, where my head needs to be before I walk into a meeting so that I'm not carrying that ping pong and that negativity with me into spaces.
Speaker 1:I'm being present in the ways that people expect me to be present.
Speaker 2:Exactly Something that I've been trying to do is to limit doom scrolling. You know, I was in this really bad habit of right before bed was the time that I would get caught up on Instagram posts or Facebook or emails from friends. But you can quickly get into this spiral of looking at one post and then what did this person say? And ooh, here's a news headline about some star in Hollywood who's doing something they have no business doing. And then you get caught up in that and then before you know it, it's like two or three in the morning and you have to be up and a few hours to go to work. And so I've really been trying to not do that.
Speaker 2:But, beyond just not getting caught up on on what's going on on social media, really limiting my consumption of news in general, you know, frankly, because most of the headlines, at least the ones that the media outlets are curating for us, are not, they're not positive, and so it's like if I'm consuming a lot of negativity, that's only going to have a negative impact on me and my attitude and my mindset and my day.
Speaker 2:And if I'm trying, you know, to stay positive and stay focused, I don't need the unnecessary excess noise of all the terrible things that are happening in the world at any given moment. It's not that I'm walking around with my head in the sand, because obviously I want to be conscious of what's going on in my community and in the country and in the world. You know being more disciplined to use your word in how much I am consuming and making sure that I'm not getting into, you know, this negative downward spiral of looking at one bad news story after the other. We can easily get caught up in the media spin of the day and before you know it you know you're feeling depressed because everything that you're consuming is just not, it's not good for your soul.
Speaker 1:I definitely agree with that. That actually ties in nicely with my second point, which is, I think, of life in like seasons, right? So it's summer here in the US and I've been thinking about how to let go of some vices that I've developed over the last few months, and I'll let go of them slowly over the course of the summer. There are things that I've started doing that are not serving me well and they actually probably lead me to the crash out zone. So the simple things that I'm going to start with are I have developed a little bit of a caffeine addiction. It's like I need at least one cup a day, and I don't know if I ever told you this, but my eighth grade retreat, when I was graduating eighth grade, the topic was the dangers of caffeine. It was in the just say no era. I guess they just assumed that we were definitely going to say no to drugs. Right, we needed to know about caffeine, but it stuck with me.
Speaker 1:I've developed this addiction. I don't want to need anything. I don't want to be dependent on any substance, even if it is something as simple as a latte. So I'm going to work on this need for a daily latte with oat milk. My budget will also appreciate that.
Speaker 1:I've also in recent weeks, maybe even months, treated myself a lot to sweets. Right, I deserve a piece of pie, I deserve that cookie, I deserve whatever. And that sugar isn't serving me well either. So I want to work on letting these two things go and finding other positive things to replace them with. I shouldn't need a latte to get through a meeting no, you shouldn't, right. Or to talk to a person or something. Then there's bigger problems that we need to deal with. I'm starting to address it, so let's peel that back so I can address those things too. It's a couple things at a time. Like I got to get to my doom scrolling. Later I'll continue to doom scroll for probably a few more weeks and other stuff and other stuff, and so by the end of the summer I would like to be back at a place where sometimes tough things happen. But whatever I'm choosing to do in my life, it's a choice and it's not a need, it's not a must. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can totally relate to the sugar and the caffeine. I'm not so much of a soda drinker, but I do need my lattes on a daily basis.
Speaker 2:But as you were speaking on these various vices that you are trying to get better control of, it made me think about my third point and taking care of your body, taking care of my health. That has been a priority for me in recent months. I've made sure that I've gone to all of my doctor's appointments, not just the annual exam, but, you know, at a certain age you need to get a colonoscopy. And I want to put out a public service announcement ladies, you know, if you are of a certain age you need to make sure that you are scheduling your mammograms, your colonoscopies, in addition to your normal physicals, which I hope you're doing on an annual basis anyway, but all of the other things that go along in taking care of your health A hereditary thing in my family, particularly on my mom's side vision issues have been an issue for years. So you know, just making sure that I'm taking care of my full self. You know I have been blessed to have never been in an accident where I needed to, you know, have an operation. I've never been hospitalized and that's something that I don't take for granted.
Speaker 2:Being in good health and wanting to maintain good health, to show a good example to my kids, maintain good health, to show a good example to my kids, but also just to you know, take care of me, to be fully, physically, 100% available and present.
Speaker 2:In whatever I do. I have really been focusing on what is it that I'm consuming in my body? What am I putting into my body? I have given up fast food. That was something that I, you know, made a personal commitment on at the beginning of the year. I've noticed a tremendous difference in my skin, my hair, my nails. I've been taking daily vitamins. I've really just been conscious of treating my body like the temple that it is and just making sure that I'm avoiding the toxins of the world and the toxins that make up a lot of the food that we eat here in the United States. Just not wanting to put things in my body that will cause it to self-destruct any earlier than it needs to, just wanting to age gracefully and, again, just be conscious of what I'm consuming, both mentally, physically, like everything, is something that I'm focused on 100% agree.
Speaker 1:We're in alignment. It's definitely going to be the focus of the summer. My third and final point is I am being very conscious about the idea of staying future focused so that I stay hopeful and I stay optimistic and realistic. To stay optimistic and realistic when you are future focused, at least in my view in this moment, what's done is done, things have happened, things are happening. Like is what it is. How can I be part of the future that I want to see? And the future I want to see may not necessarily be rebuilding what was in the past, because sometimes what we had in the past wasn't so great.
Speaker 1:You and I were joking earlier about dorm rooms, right, yeah, and my dorm at my undergraduate institution, my freshman year dorm, is being torn down this summer and I know all the good memories and I love that place. I had a great time there. So if anybody from Spelman's listening HH is gone, that is okay. I don't know if I want my daughter to stay in HH, like we didn't have air conditioning, we didn't have high speed internet right, we didn't. We shared bathrooms or whatever In 2030 or whenever she goes to college. The earth is a little hotter than it was in 1996.
Speaker 2:She's going to need some AC for sure.
Speaker 1:They're building something completely different, and that's okay. Hh is gone, but the future is going to be great and it's going to have not just what kids need now, but what they're going to need going forward, absolutely as far as we can predict. That's the way I'm trying to think about this moment, as I think about building my business, as I think about how I'm serving my clients, as I think about what I'm providing. It's not just oh, I wish I could do what I did, or I wish I could give you something that will help you in the near future. How can I build something that's going to be what I've always dreamed of and will take us far beyond? That is the way that not only I'm trying to live my life, but I'm trying to encourage others to see things that way as well.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we've given our listeners a lot to chew on, and I would encourage everyone to think about what are you doing to avoid crashing out? The world is crazy. You doing to avoid crashing out? The world is crazy. Things are happening at such a pace and at such a velocity that it's really important to not just focus on how you're leading teams or leading organizations, but how are you leading yourself? How are you maintaining your sanity, your resilience, your sense of self, despite the things that are happening around you, over which you have no control? It's really important to make sure that you are centered and doing the things that you need to do to lead yourself, so that you can show up for others in the way that they need you.
Speaker 1:Thank you all so much for joining us. Please drop into the comments what is one thing that you're going to be doing to avoid that crash out scenario. And for those of you not watching it on YouTube, you should be. It's where all the fun is. Please come on over, share in the fun. Please leave us a comment and subscribe to our channel.
Speaker 2:Be sure to share this episode with at least three friends and encourage them to subscribe, and let us hear you. If there's content that you've enjoyed or ideas that you have for future episodes, we would love to hear from you. We look forward to sipping wisdom and stirring success with you again real soon.
