Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Practicing Wellness In Unwell Times: Reflections on Repose 2025 With Ellen Tannor
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In this episode of the Leadership Tea Podcast, Shelby and Belinda welcome a special guest, Ellen Tannor, a former senior diplomat who recently participated in the 'Repose, a Day of Reflection' retreat at Salamander Resort in Middleburg. Ellen shares her rich career experiences, including her service as a special agent and protective detail member for Secretary of State Colin Powell.
Now pursuing a master’s degree in journalism at American University, Ellen reflects on her transition from being a diplomat and the importance of mental and spiritual refreshers. The discussion highlights key takeaways from the retreat, such as the importance of moving with purpose, making 'better mistakes tomorrow,' and the benefits of lifting others as a way to protect one's mental health.
The episode encapsulates the essence of intentionality, community, and forward-thinking, leaving listeners with valuable insights on how to thrive in their personal and professional lives.
00:00 Welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast
00:05 Introducing Ellen Tannor
01:40 Reflecting on the Repose Event
04:01 Key Takeaways from the Retreat
06:28 The Importance of Being Intentional
08:00 Executing Big Ideas
11:09 Transitioning from Diplomacy to Journalism
19:20 Maintaining Mental Health and Resilience
22:47 Final Thoughts and Gratitude
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Hey everyone, and welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast. We are so excited to welcome a very special guest today. Her name is Ellen Tanner, and she was one of our participants in the Repose, a Day of Reflection retreat that we just hosted at the Salamander in Middleburg. Ellen is a former senior diplomat. She was a special agent, a senior law enforcement official. Her 23-year career at the State Department included service in Angola, Djibouti, Algeria, and a number of other domestic assignments, including being a member of the Protective Security Detail for Secretary of State Colin Powell. I met Ellen later in our careers. She was a participant in the International Women's Forum Leadership Fellowship program that Belinda and I both had the opportunity to participate in. And she is just an incredible human being. She's actually pursuing a journalism career at American University. And she's just a wonderful human being. One of the things that I love about hosting the Leadership Tea Podcast is that we get to talk to amazing individuals, amazing leaders in their own right. I don't have to be starstruck by people that I don't know because I have amazing people in my inner circle who just bring so much expertise and wisdom. And I think you'll get a lot out of this episode.
SPEAKER_00:Hi, welcome to the Leadership Tea, where we talk about what it takes to get to the executive level and how to thrive once you get there. Today we are embarking on a really uh fun, interesting journey to reflect on our experience with our repose event, which we recently held at the Salamander Middleburg in Virginia. I think it was a great event. Um, Shelby, Ellen, I don't know how you feel about it, but I loved the food, I loved the setting, uh, and I loved, of course, the company that we had.
SPEAKER_02:I loved the champagne, I loved the ambiance, I loved the people that were there. It was just the right mix of personalities and just positive energy that we were hoping to cultivate and and to create in this space. Um, it was it was great. What about you, Ellen?
SPEAKER_01:I love when you have one of those days and you don't even know how much you needed that day. I love that. I love it. It's like, whoo, it was everything that I needed in the moment with the right group, the right sense of community and shared, I think, compassion for the environment that we're in. Yeah, it's great. And when the food keeps on rolling, that's always a good day for Ellen. That's a bonus day.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Definitely. The food, the champagne, all of it. It's just like, wow, yes. And just the weather was great. Yeah. I for me, I feel like that could definitely be an annual event.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. It might be greedy and say quarterly or biannual. I still get quarterly. Yeah, I think whenever you get a mental and spiritual refresh, it's like it's like that massage where like you didn't realize how tense you were until afterwards, and you're all loose, and you just don't know it until you have it. So do it regularly so you don't get so wound up because that mental refresh is really important for just continuing to thrive in this environment.
SPEAKER_00:100%. I completely agree with you. And I feel like people came away with a lot of amazing takeaways. Shelby, what do you feel like was a big takeaway for you?
SPEAKER_02:One of the takeaways for me is actually a comment that one of our participants made. Um, he quoted you and I, Belinda, from our time at the Operations Center at the State Department. And one of the things that we would tell our teams all the time is better mistakes tomorrow. And what this guest said, what this guest said was that, you know, not only does that apply in your professional life, but it also applies in your personal life. And that really stood out to me as we were going through the day, and I was taking mental notes of the things that we needed to do to improve the next time, because that's just the type A personality within me and the perfectionist in me. I was taking those mental notes of how we can make better mistakes the next time, but then also thinking about my journey from being a senior diplomat and transitioning into entrepreneurship and into this next chapter, there are going to be some mistakes that I make along the way. And I need to not get caught up in that. I need to learn from those mistakes and keep it moving. And so repose was that for me, you know, knowing that we put together a quality event, but that there's some tweaks that we need to make to ensure that future events are even more excellent. Um, and to not get bogged down, you know, on a personal level when things don't go well as I make this pivot into entrepreneurship, because they're gonna be things that I screw up and I need to just, you know, keep it moving. And so I'm thankful to our guest for reminding me of that. And and yeah, that was one of many takeaways that I had.
SPEAKER_01:And then I think you're always, you know, human nature, we're always harder on ourselves than we are. So you're gonna see things and say, oh, for next time, that nobody even saw or thought of, or were even, you know, you know, for I think most people it was a pretty flawless, simple, not overly orchestrated, um light, light feeling but purposeful gathering. So kudos, kudos to you all. It was really enjoyable. Yeah. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:I've been meaning to pull up my better mistakes tomorrow mug. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, please. Yes. Ellen, what about you? What was uh a takeaway for you from repose?
SPEAKER_01:So many, so many, but I think the one that really hit me from many things that you all said was being intentional. You know, I think right now, and I keep saying in this environment, but there's a lot going on. We're all in this mental nonstop all day, every day, about what we're doing, what we're doing next, how we're pivoting, what is the the rest of the journey looks like. And it's in here. But just having to sit and voice it out and be coherent and cohesive with someone you've just met really makes you have to put sense to your thoughts and get them out in a way that perhaps I had not done before, you know, even if even as I'm in the midst of my journey and just really doing what I said I was gonna do, having to articulate that and make it make sense and logical, it was very helpful. It was a helpful exercise for me. But I think um overall, just being intentional and moving with purpose. That was just really one of the big takeaways for me. You can only ponder so much, think and overthink, and then it's time to move, and then it's time to execute, because that thinking will slow you down sometimes.
SPEAKER_00:No, definitely. I I I definitely hear that. I think for me, it was a reminder that when you have uh an idea to execute. Yeah, just take a chance, like do it, and actually push yourself to do it even greater, right? Like kind of 10x it. We had an idea, like we should have a retreat, we should talk, we should focus, we should have people need to just like take a moment and take a breath. We could have just uh, I don't know, had it over at one of our houses, right? Or, you know, gotten a room in a local community center, which is great. You know, we could have done that. But we said, why don't we go to an amazing resort?
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And um, and why don't we indulge ourselves in the care and luxury that we deserve? And boy, and we did it, right?
SPEAKER_01:And we did it well in style. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:You have an idea. How can you push that idea to be even better and then go ahead and implement? Go ahead and take a chance.
SPEAKER_01:And I love it. That honestly is one of my new favorite phrases 10x. I don't know if it's if it's been out there or if it's just a belinda. It's been out there.
SPEAKER_00:I cannot take credit for that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_02:Okay, it's a belinda ism, though. Isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:I'm always the last one to heard hear something that's been said a thousand times before. But it actually takes me back to um the billboard exercise we went through. What would you want on a billboard? And I and I think mine is um do it bigger than your dreams, right? You know, we've all heard the the the phrase um, if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough. Yeah, but I'm like, essentially it's Valindaism, 10x, do it bigger than your dreams, do it bigger than you thought. Like you have to start small sometimes, you know. Like you said, you could have done it in your living room, you could have done it at the back room of a nice restaurant here, but we did it at salamander, you know? Like we just went all the way there. Like we've been doing this for years. And so I uh that was my thing. If you have to leave something on a billboard, do it bigger than your dreams, you know? Why not?
SPEAKER_00:Definitely, definitely. Well, we've got a couple of questions for you. Um, we would love to kind of dig into some of the reflections that you walked away with from repose. Uh Shelby, what do you what do you think? Should we Yeah?
SPEAKER_02:We'll we'll dive right in.
SPEAKER_00:Do you want me to start?
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Um, so you mentioned the the billboard exercise, but one of the other um uh positive exercises, or one of the exercises that we did that was well received based on the survey responses was the water release exercise where we asked you all, you know, what was something that you needed to let go of. And so I wanted to see if you would be comfortable sharing, you know, what is something that you need to let go of in order to get to where you want to be.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you know, mine was a little bit of an interesting take. It's because it is something I've let go of. And in in not, you know, a physical sense, but I have transitioned, I have retired. Um, I am no longer the diplomat, the special agent, the whatever title that we get accustomed to being part of, right? I'm in a in a master's program right now that is just an investment and a joy in myself, and that's what I am right now. And so, senior foreign service diplomat, special agent, blah, blah, it's okay. I have crossed the threshold of retirement, and it will always be part of my identity, but that's not who I am right now, and that is okay because I like the transition and the journey and the direction I'm going in. So, not in a negative way, but Ellen, you had a great old time being a diplomat. You did all the things. You traveled the world backwards and forward, and you lived the life that you wanted to live. Good on you. Here it is. That happened, now next. So it was um, it was a good thing that I was ready to put away, not in a bad way, but it was it was just that that that phase is over.
SPEAKER_00:No, I love that. So as you were preparing to come to repose, what was something that you were hoping to get out of the event?
SPEAKER_01:Um, I said for me it was peace and a little bit of clarity. And I I think I got that. You know, these days when people get together, it's easy to lean on the all the things that are not going right. Um, whether it's people out of work or, you know, they're losing their livelihood in some unfortunate manner. That's just our reality right now in the DC area. And it's easy to everybody to circle around that uh negativity and things that are going wrong and who lost their job and who some unfortunate situation. But we didn't focus on that. Not that that's not a reality, but that we were going to keep it positive and keep an eye towards what is working and what's gonna work. And I like just framing and centering it that because it's too easy to fall into what doesn't work. And that's a whole conversation. So, and we all checked ourselves because we'd have conversation and we'd naturally be like, oh, and that, no, no, no, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna stay focused and keep our eye on where we're going and what goodness is coming ahead that we're going to create, manufacture, develop, inspire. Um, and that was helpful.
SPEAKER_02:I'm glad you mentioned that because Belinda and I, as we were thinking about repose and how to structure it. You know, we know that a lot of people are going through a lot of things, and we talk about that in several episodes. And in fact, we have a separate series that we're doing on the shutdown, and we really wanted to make sure that repose was about forward thinking and building the future and picking up the pieces of whatever it is, you know, that got you to where you are right now and using those as breadcrumbs to create something bigger and better for the future. So I'm glad that you honed in on that because that was very, very important to Belinda and I because we didn't want it to be like a doomsday. A Debbie Downer, like we're gonna sit around and sip tea and cry and be emotional and sad.
SPEAKER_01:Like that was not the intent. No, and it's so easy to go that way. And you know what? Someone gave me a reflection, and it was just, I've been thinking about it ever since is having just a conversation with them. And unfortunately, they talked about how they were furloughed and lost their job. But after this, some months and some times to think about it and reflect, is that they feel like they got pushed out of a burning building. And I was like, wow, you know, when you get pushed out of a building, not nothing feels good. But when you look back and realize, ooh, you know, it was ablaze, and I got out unscathed. It it just was uh for me a very interesting and healthy way to look at it. It wasn't pleasant, but you're you've managed to find yourself better off because there were some challenges where you were, and you're not enduring that anymore. So I really, I really appreciated the analogy.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. No, that that makes sense. Um I think, you know, as you mentioned, the fact that you have just retired from the State Department after a very successful career as you know, senior diplomat, law enforcement officer, special agent. And I guess, you know, we're interested in knowing like how would you describe this season of your life and how are you managing the transition?
SPEAKER_01:Oh man, Shelby, you know, I I know I've talked to you about it. I almost gonna use positive words, I almost feel guilty about how elated I feel. Not because I don't deserve to feel elated, because there's a lot of despair going on around. And there's a lot of the our friends and colleagues that we left behind that are still experiencing a lot of challenges. As uh a friend who's who who's still with the federal government said yesterday to me, she says, Helen, I'm in the I'm in the federal, federal, what is it? I'm in the uh the hunger games of federal workers, you know. It just is so, you don't know what you're getting into from day to day. And we can laugh about it and joke about it, but it's a reality for many of our folks. And I am feel very fortunate that I had a full career. Like this was always gonna be my year, and so this environment held me to what I said and not kick the can down the road, but I feel elated. I have my steps lined up, I have eaten my vegetables all this year, so I'm actually getting a little cake right now. I know that's right. Just getting a little bit of cake, and I'm like, ooh, this cake is good, right? This cake is good. So I personally end up at a joyful spot, but and I'm happy to be joyful, but I'm mindful of all that's going around. You know, you can't go into a funeral, you know, line dancing. And so I just want to be cognizant of the environment, um, but still, you know, celebrate where I am and the things I was able to accomplish and and be out right at the right time. Yeah, I don't even know if that answered the question now. It does.
SPEAKER_00:It does. And it, you know, what I hear you say is that like, you know, just the timing is aligned. You've been able to make choices and prepare yourself for uh a future that's that's really optimistically like it's it's your next chapter, like you're excited to like embark on this next adventure.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I am just next month and going to Norway for three weeks. I honestly did not think I'd be on a plane this soon after retirement. You know, you turn in your passports, you're sitting down, you're like, I'm done thing, and all of a sudden I'm I'm going for a fellowship in Norway for investigative journalism that I didn't even, you know, didn't have planned. But I'm like, wow, this is exciting. This is exactly where I want to be and the things I want to be doing. And uh I feel just grateful to have planned and be in this position.
SPEAKER_00:No, definitely. You're able to take the best of you and apply it to this new world. Yeah. So this season, we've been really focused on mental health and how leaders can protect their mental health and and build their own resilience during, you know, turbulent and times and lots of change. And so I think we're interested in understanding a little bit about how do you protect your own mental health and how are you taking care of yourself during this time of transition for you?
SPEAKER_01:Um, well, I think you know, being on the other side that helps the mental health a whole bunch. But for me, surprisingly, being able to lift up others really helps me. You know, I call and check on people and just check up and see what's going on. And people can share freely. And people are always like, I'm so glad you called, or I'm so glad, you know, in all the things you're doing, you could come chat with me. And for whatever it's worth, no matter what they're going through, whether greater despair, just that connecting and talking to people and being a shoulder um to vent or lean on and adding some little joy from for me, that's helpful because no matter what, I just want to continue to be helpful to others and value added. And because I'm in a better place where I'm not as drained, I'm not in the hunger games anymore. I have a little more to give and and and can take on. And people are just a little grateful for a call or sometimes to get it out from somebody who understands, who's not far removed. And it really lifts my soul to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02:And I can say from personal experience, I'm one of the people that you have checked on. And I am, I'm personally um just very grateful for your friendship and who you have been uh to me. It's interesting how we met towards the end of your career and towards the end of mine. And I think that's just a testament of you know, when you find your people, it doesn't matter at what stage of life you're you're in. You know, if the connection is there, it's genuine and it will last and and people will be there for you when when you need them. So I just want to publicly acknowledge you for thank you.
SPEAKER_01:And I feel like when you find people, no matter how horrible of the situation you may be enduring, and you can get together and still find something a key key key about, you can be key key key about how you're being pushed out of the burning building. There's a little bit of joy in that. We can laugh at it, right? Yeah, it helps. It helps. So you know, I'm grateful to you, Shelby, too, because I know I've blown up your ear. Even sometimes listening to the podcast, I'm like, let me call Shelby because this lady just says I always say, Well, how often will I know somebody who's hosting the podcast? So let me just call and tell what I think. I don't ever get to do this. I'm gonna call dial in my privilege and call it.
SPEAKER_02:Right, dial in your privilege.
SPEAKER_01:Right, Madam Host, I was listening and you need to dial in privilege more often. Yes, I like that a lot.
SPEAKER_00:Well, Ellen, I want to thank you for joining us. Like, um, you know, we just really wanted to give our audience a glimpse of repose, not just from us, like it's like reading rainbow, right? You don't have to take my word for it. Yeah. Um, we had a great time, and we're gonna have other ways for our audience to connect with one another. Um, and so we wanted people to hear, like, okay, we connect, and it was pretty great. And we all walked away with some really powerful takeaways uh and a stronger sense of community. And so you were a huge part of that. So thank you so much for both attending.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you both for the time, energy. I know it may look simple as fabulous as it was, but there's a lot of work and energy and choreography and you know, curated space to make something really exceptional, exceptional. And and you guys won first shot, right out of the gate. And I think you've created an appetite that people like, when are we doing this again? It was helpful. It was not only just um you know, a social gathering and a good time. We're we're thinking, we're reflecting, and we're moving forward in our journey. And that is probably the most important takeaway. So thank you for that. And and knowing there is a community always that understands and you can lean on. So thank you.
