Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
Leadership Lessons From The Shutdown: Confidence, Money & Boundaries | S4 EP14
Airports jammed, paychecks paused, nerves frayed—crisis has a way of revealing what actually keeps leaders steady. Belinda and Shelby peel back the layers of the recent shutdown and run our lessons through “priority screening,” naming the habits and guardrails that matter when systems fail and people still need direction.
First, Belinda and Shelby get practical about money. Financial fragility isn’t just stressful; it impairs judgment. They also challenge unbounded vulnerability. Empathy fuels trust, but unchecked venting drains morale. Values become the compass: hold standards, keep momentum, and resist the urge to pass your frustration down the chain. Finally, Belinda and Shelby share how boundaries protect high-EQ leaders from burnout.
As they close the shutdown series, Belinda and Shelby preview a new flow of episodes, “No Sunday Scaries,” designed to reset your week with intention and ease.
Your take matters—what lessons make the cut for priority screening?
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Hey everyone, welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast, where we talk about what it takes to get to the executive level and how to thrive once you get there. As many of you know, we've had an ongoing series during the government shutdown called Shutdown but not shutout. We're starting to wind that down now that the government looks like it's going to reopen. And instead, we're asking ourselves today like as we look back at the shutdown, what are we carrying that deserves priority screening? We're kind of reflecting on how the airports were closed or closing, how TSA was under a great deal of pressure, as well as air traffic controllers. And we're asking ourselves, if we had to take something that we learned through priority screening, what would we prioritize? What did we learn? And so we want to ask you the same question. Like as you listen to this episode and hear our thoughts, we'd love to see in the comments your thoughts about what lessons would you take through priority screening? What did you learn? And how would you share those lessons with others? It would be really great to see that in the chat. And um also if you like what you see here, or you like our content, please like and subscribe. I will pass things over to Shelby. Why don't you kick us off?
SPEAKER_01:Sure. First of all, I'm just thankful to have the shutdown in the rearview mirror. The first lesson, I learned many things. It's been a time of reflection, but I would say the top thing that deserves priority screening in my life is to get your financial house in order. Get your financial house in order. You can't let life happen to you and just watch your finances implode. I know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck. Let me just be clear. I've been there as a student, uh, as a married person, as a married person with children, I have experienced living paycheck to paycheck. I am thankful that I am no longer in that position, but the shutdown definitely had me on a level of economic desperation, or at least feeling like I was on the brink of having to make some major life decisions that I don't ever want to have to make again. Or at least I don't want to ever be in that mindset or be in that position ever again, where I'm thinking about is it time to make an early withdrawal from my thrift savings plan? You know, are there other things that we need to do to move our money around? And as I think about leadership and how how these pressures can really affect you when it comes time to lead other people through crisis, I was just thinking, you know, I don't ever want to be broke. And not just in a financial sense, but you know, broken mentally, broken spiritually, broken uh relationally. And I was just thinking, you know, when you have multiple facets of your life that you have to manage, if you're broke in in multiple facets, then you can't you can't lead from a place of brokenness. And so that's my tie to to leadership, you know, when it comes to, you know, what what deserves priority screening in my life, the finances, getting my financial house in order, because that enables me to not be broken um in other respects. I just feel like leaders have to, there's an additional pressure, there's an additional, an additional onus on you to have, you know, everything come together in your life in order to enable you to be able to lead others. You just can't lead from a from a place of brokenness. That would be my first thing. Um, the other thing that I'm taking with me is that I'm a survivor. I am a survivor. Like life has thrown a lot of curveballs this year beyond the shutdown. And as I think about what deserves priority screening in my life, it's my self-confidence, my self-confidence and my self-esteem. As a leader, again, you cannot leave from a place where you're feeling small or you're feeling inadequate. And the shutdown has just been a powerful reminder to me that whatever is thrown at me, I have the adaptability, the agility, the flexibility, you know, not just the book smarts, but also the common sense and real life experience all combined to enable me to figure out a way to survive. And no matter, you know, how how many things are being thrown at us as individuals, as members of different communities, where it feels like the weight of life is conspiring to pull you down or break you down, you know, we are survivors. Everyone who's listening to this podcast right now, you know, you've made it to the other side of what has been a terrible, a terrible period of, I don't know how many weeks we were in the shutdown, six weeks, whatever. Um, all the airport metaphors, you know, which is why we decided to use one, you know, in unpacking what are the things that deserve priority screening. It feels like the the chaos at the airports was the tipping point in the shutdown. And again, I'm just thinking, you know, we all survived what has been a really terrible time for our country and really across the globe. Um, so yeah, I guess I'll pause and and kick it back to you, Belinda, for your thoughts.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think it's really about vulnerability that um this shutdown, as well as the last one, um really showcase like what happens when we are fully expose ourselves and fully trust and invest in, frankly, our employer. Um, doesn't matter, honestly, whether that's a private sector or public sector issue. Like, why am I giving all to you when you show me over and over and over again that you are not gonna match my energy? You're not giving your all to me. So, as you were talking, I thought a lot about vulnerability. And I will just not be continue to be vulnerable to this. Um, you talked about investing, you know, just making sure that like you won't be caught flat footed. I I just will not be not liquid in my funds. I will not need to pay a fee to get to my money. Like, like, not we're not we're not gonna do that anymore. We're not gonna do that in the future. I learned that a long time ago. Um, it's time to invest also externally. Like, okay, this is what this is what we're doing. Cool. Um, I'm gonna be investing in external relationships that are gonna help me build a future. It's time to invest in my future, it's time to invest in me, right? And I hear that a lot from my um coaching clients who are who are in the federal space, whether they are contractors or direct hires, many parts of the economy are affected when we have these shutdowns. And people are just like, yeah, no, I'm over the instability. So the other piece that I would say is holding the line on your values while you're still holding space for people to go through what they're going through. People are dysregulated, they are not able to handle this pressure. That doesn't mean that you get to crash out with them, right? And so it's like, all right, I'm gonna acknowledge that everyone around me is crashing out, but decisions still have to be made, things still have to move forward, stuff still got to get done. It's unfortunate. It's not fair, but it is the reality. And it's likely in line with my own value system to continue to move forward. So I know that I've been at my worst when I've allowed my anger about something, a situation, my leadership, uh, decisions they're making, etc. I've I've been my worst as a person and a leader when I've complained about those things publicly to staff or to like to really, there's this fine line between being empathetic and kind of signaling to people like, I feel y'all, this is crazy, and being right there in the trenches, being like, yo, literally, this is crazy. That doesn't, that's not actually helping people's morale. Like, um and it's certainly not making me look like a great leader. So I regret that. So holding that line, and finally, like recognizing that, at least for someone like me, my leadership style, uh, which is really very uh EQ based and very like uh empathy based, is exhausting during a crisis like this. Like it's really hard. And um so I had to learn the hard way during a previous shutdown that it's really important to like protect that piece, to be there for people, listen, understand what they're going through, but I can't take it on emotionally. I can't fix everybody's problems, especially their non-work problems. Like so finding that balance between being present and being understanding, but also putting up a few um, I want to say blocks, but that's too strong of a word. Maybe boundaries, but more like boundaries, boundaries that will protect me, I think is is really important. Those are kind of my main lessons.
SPEAKER_01:I hear you. And I I I just want to double-click on what you said on not crashing out with your staff because you're an empath and because your EQ is off the charts, it can be like the biggest challenge and a crisis to not get mired in the muckety muck of everyone else's feelings, emotions. And again, that's not to say that you disregard them, but you just can't get sucked in and swallowed by them because then you're not you're not leading. Like if you're joining the crowd and commiserating with everyone, like, yeah, this sucks. Like, no, that's that's not what they need from you. And that's not what that's not what leadership looks like either.
SPEAKER_00:I can I can literally right now in my head think of times I've started meetings with they asked us to do this thing, you know, and people are like, but that doesn't make sense. I know y'all, I tried, I told them, but they didn't listen. Like, that's not effective. I haven't done it a lot, but I can think of the times that I did. And those were not the times that I was the most effective that I could be. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I would say there's a caveat, you know, there's a time and place for everything, you know, where there is a moment when it makes sense to acknowledge, yes, we have this unpleasant thing to do. Um, but you know, here's the plan, this is how we're gonna move forward. I I agree with you that it's a fine line to to walk, where maybe you don't necessarily lead with that when you're starting a meeting, but you know, on the side or later or midway, whatever, just finding the right moment when it is necessary to acknowledge because you don't want people to feel like they're being gaslit. Um, but as a leader, it's it's also on you to have the right judgment and the discernment to know, you know, timing is everything. Um, and you do have to stay above the fray. You have to stay above the fray, even when all hell is breaking loose and the economy is in a tailspin. But we hope that you all have enjoyed uh this episode. We are going to shift from the shutdown series, thankfully, into a different uh weekly episode rhythm. Um, we're still trying to figure out the title, but it'll be something to the effect of, you know, no Sunday scaries. We find that, you know, a lot of us on Sunday, we're anticipating what the week has in store. Oh my God, Monday is, you know, in hours, and that anxiety just builds up within each of us in terms of our to-do list and all the things that we have to juggle during the week. So stay tuned for more information on uh the no Sunday Scaries uh series that we're about to launch. And if you have enjoyed this content, we welcome you in the Leadership Lounge. This is a safe space that we have just created and curated for our listeners who want to go a little bit deeper, who want to have a more unfiltered space. Think of it as Shelby and Belinda dishing unfiltered tea in a community of loyal listeners who really want more engagement, more community, because community is clutch. So if you're interested in that, please go to our website, www.starringsuccess.com slash leadership lounge, to find out more information. We're going to have a co working space on Tuesday, November 18th. We we invite you to join us for that. But if you're interested, we really encourage you to sign up for the Leadership Lounge. You won't regret it. And we look forward to sipping wisdom and stirring success with you again real soon.
