Leadership Tea
On Leadership Tea, we talk about what it takes to reach the executive level, and how to thrive when you get there. Powerful leaders share their journeys, insights, and triumphs in conversations with hosts Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson Farrier.
Join us every other Wednesday to be inspired by the unvarnished stories of amazing executives who know what it's like to be "the only" at the table and who have succeeded regardless. They have proven leadership experience in their respective fields, from international affairs to the private sector to academia, and want to help others create their own success stories.
Leadership Tea
How Successful Executives Reset on Sundays: Beat Anxiety & Start Strong | S4 EP18
Belinda & Shelby break down the Sunday rituals that high-performing leaders use to reduce anxiety, set clear priorities, and start the week with confidence, not chaos.
If you're a leader, executive, or high achiever who feels the Sunday pressure creeping in, this conversation is for you.
What we cover:
✨ Why successful leaders avoid emails on Sundays
✨ How to set boundaries without guilt
✨ Sunday planning routines to calm your mind
✨ How to set clear expectations with your team & household
✨ What tasks should wait until Monday — and which shouldn’t
✨ Have clarity on weekly priorities > daily to-do lists or specific objectives
✨ Simple rituals that make Mondays feel lighter
Whether you grocery shop, meal prep, fold laundry, or journal to reset — your rituals matter. A peaceful Sunday leads to a powerful week.
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We publish new episodes every other Wednesday.
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Hey everyone, welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast, where we talk about not only what it takes to reach the executive level, but how to thrive once you get there. So today, Belinda and I are going to get tactical with you, and we are going to share some practical tips on what high performers, successful executives do on Sundays. What are our rituals to be our best for the week? And I will start by sharing a negative. And what I mean by that is what is something that I won't do on Sundays to avoid the Sunday scaries? What I won't do is catch up on emails. Let me say that again. What I won't do is spend my Sunday getting myself anxious, getting myself worked up by going through emails and trying to catch up. Because guess what? As an executive, you are never going to catch up on all of your emails. It is literally impossible to go through your inbox and respond to every single inquiry that you receive. This was a game changer for me as I ascended into executive positions and I was feeling overwhelmed. I was feeling like my inbox was just controlling my life. And it got to a point where I'm like, this is not working. Like they are not paying me to shark my inbox. This is not what the taxpayers are spending their dollars on when it comes to me, you know, running an enterprise level organization, you know, within a government bureaucracy. No one cares if I'm getting back to every single email. What they do want to know is am I responding to my boss? Am I aware of crisis situations or critical decision points that only I can make? Those are the emails that I need to be focused on. Those are the emails that require my input, my attention, but not all of the other things that you know I'm copied on, or you know, these long email soliloquies that many of us are subjected to, where everyone is giving their opinion on a policy point or a decision that needs to be made. That's not my lane. And so I'm not spending my Sunday going through emails that are never ending, that aren't going to drive a pivotal outcome. What about you, Belinda?
SPEAKER_00:No, I just want to like double-click on that. That I think that question of like how to check your emails and just how to triage that situation really speaks to what are what are the fundamentals, the core of your leadership style, right? Are you the kind of person that knows that you've got a great team, you've trained them, they're clear on their expectations. So you can just skim, like, yeah, I've been CC'd on this, but I don't have to know the details. And so you, but you but yet you know how to remain situationally aware. And for me, when I would do something similar, I agree with you, I would kind of time limit myself and I would look for just like what are those huge issues? Usually I feel like my last few kind of corporate nine to five roles were spaces where I was working in a 24-hour environment. And so it's like inevitably something would happen Friday night or Saturday. And it's like, okay, let me let me make sure I understand this thing that happened that we dealt with, so that I can deal with the difficult conversations I need to have on Monday, except that I'm gonna have to have some difficult conversations on Monday. You know, let me get let me get clear on like what patterns I need to be able to, what meetings I need to be ready for. Okay, now I feel ready for Monday between start of business and noon. And I feel like everybody's answered and we can all get started. That's about the extent I would dive into email on a Sunday. Otherwise, I was only raising my anxiety level and starting to micromanage.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and like who does that serve?
SPEAKER_02:Because you're worked up and then you're getting your team worked up, and it's like, all right, well, this doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_00:No. Is that helping anybody? And then now I'm emailing people and they're working. Like, what are we doing? Right. We're bringing everybody out. And so I would also be very diligent in the last few years. I've tried to be really diligent about saying four normal business hours or you know, for open of business, so people didn't feel like they had to respond to me in the middle of the night.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. This risk that some some of the people on your staff are high performing too and want to impress you. And even if you beg them, please don't respond to this before Monday, they're gonna respond anyway.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and we've talked so much about modeling, right? I don't want to model, go into your email on Sunday and start freaking out and start sending everybody crazy emails. Right. That's not where we want to go. But I think for me, one of the things that I'd want to highlight that I do on Sundays is really be honest with myself each Sunday about what needs to happen today in order for me to go to bed peacefully. Right, like not stressed out. And I, you know, I can't say that I have clear, clear patterns in everything that I do in my life. And so I can't tell you that every week it's groceries or meal prep or like, no, every week it changes. But I wake up in the morning and before I get out of bed, I'm just kind of thinking to myself, I know what like the big things I have to do next week are, particularly Monday and Tuesday. What needs to happen today to like set not just me, but the household up for success? And sometimes it's laundry, right? Sometimes that's groceries. As I think about this coming week, you know, I was telling you earlier how Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have major things that have to be dealt with, and there's not going to be a lot of wiggle room for mistakes. And so it's like, okay, fundamentally we need breakfast. I should probably go to the grocery store. I don't have time to do everything tomorrow, but let me make sure we have breakfast. Yeah, like there are major wardrobe things that have to happen Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I have in my head what everybody needs to have on, but we need to check tomorrow. Does this still fit? Have you grown? Does this work?
SPEAKER_02:There's nothing worse than like on the weekend, like, oh, she needs a dress, yeah, or some shoes. And then you realize like it's too small because she grew.
SPEAKER_00:I got an email on like Friday that's like, oh, this coming Friday, she needs a green dress.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, well, you don't just have a green dress randomly in the closet, like get on it tomorrow. Very specific.
SPEAKER_00:So, like, that's the kind of thing that um, and there's just you know, I I need to kind of focus on. And if you were to talk to my family, you they would probably tell you that what I start announcing usually like around after church, is reminding them these are the things that we're getting done that we've all agreed to, and I would like to see them done by the time the sun goes down. For me, there's something emotional on Sunday about when the sun goes down, what is done is done. Yes, it's done, and I need to be winding down. I'm just trying to go to sleep at a decent time. I need all of y'all to go to sleep at a decent time because Monday inevitably will bring things that we weren't ready for. Yeah, and so they'll and that's hard in the winter. The sun's going down earlier. Y'all gotta get it together sooner because I'm still holding the same standard when the sun goes down. All this stuff needs to be. I'm not gonna be in a dark grocery store parking lot fighting. Okay, I thought that's right.
SPEAKER_01:No, we're not doing that.
SPEAKER_00:I don't want to hear about your homework assignment at like seven o'clock at night.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, that is the worst.
SPEAKER_00:Sun goes down. I don't want to be doing your hair at like nine o'clock at night if I don't have to on a Sunday. Sun goes down. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Gosh, I can't double-click that enough. Like for me, wind down time is so important. Just to reiterate everything that you just said, like, come eight o'clock, nine o'clock. I'm like mentally shutting down my brain. I don't need you coming to me with a homework assignment or oh mom, I forgot I'm supposed to, you know, have this special project and I need construction paper for blah blah blah. Oh well, I guess you're just gonna be short. And you know, we've had to have some hard conversations to teach discipline and to teach time management and organizational skills because eight o'clock on a Sunday is not the time to begin organizing or to begin finishing projects that you knew full well needed to be done Friday night or Saturday morning. So, yes, I hear you. Windown time is is critical.
SPEAKER_00:There's a lot of there's a lot of learning opportunities when the sun goes down on Sunday.
SPEAKER_02:For sure. But I think that's a good segue into um my other point on expectation setting for the week. And it kind of borrows some of the elements that you just said um in your example. For me, when I think about the week and I'm looking at the calendar, I will announce to the family, okay, family, these are the days when I am like spent. Like my schedule is such that I am not gonna have a lot of time for wiggle room or room for error for things to go wrong on Tuesday and Wednesday, because those are gonna be the busiest days on the calendar for me at work. You know, however, Friday is a little bit lighter, or you know, Monday, I have time to do XYZ. If there are extra things that you all need me to do, the you know, that's the window to ask me. And I find that when we have these like family conversations where I can, you know, set expectations in terms of what they can expect from me and vice versa, it just helps the household function better as opposed to all of us just kind of like running ragged and who's doing what, and is mom, you know, gonna be able to do this thing for me on this day, you know, is she working late? Like just having clear communication and expectation setting for me, having those conversations on Saturday and Sunday, frankly, to kind of limit the Sunday scaries and to limit the Sunday anxiety, it really helps the week to flow smoother.
SPEAKER_00:No, I completely agree with you. And I think we do the same, but maybe more informally. And as you were saying that, I was thinking to myself how with each passing year, our schedules only get more complex. And I've seen these ads for there's like almost looks like an electronic whiteboard that is a calendar that people are using, they put in like their kitchen or something that shows everybody's schedules. But I'm like, and as you were, as you were saying that, I was thinking, perhaps we should start having a more formal like Saturday or Sunday morning conversation. It's like, hey, here's what's realistic for all of us. And it might even help my daughter start to get in the habit of really using her calendar. Like, we're trying to get her more in the habit of like writing things down, just using that executive functioning. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:We did that. We have like a visual calendar in our kitchen, and I color-coded it. Maybe it's the OCD coming out of me, but like I have a color, Vince has a color, each of the kids have a color. It's basically our favorite colors. And so I would list like the major things that each of us had going on for each day of the week so that everyone could see it. And then I would like screenshot it and send it to folks, and be like, okay, remember, this is the schedule for you know today, the week, whatever, just so that everyone is cognizant of the various moving parts. Because as you said, as the years go by, there are more activities, there's just more demands on our time. Yeah, it's hard to keep track of.
SPEAKER_00:I think the bottom line of what you've just said really is about communication, right? Communication with your household, your village, your team, about just like what's realistic. And you and I do it, right? With the business, like, hey, look, we've got this thing, this meeting, this thing, this rock, and we're just conscious of each other's kind of high points through the week as and stay in constant communication about that. So, no, I think that that's critical, both at home and professionally. Um yeah, no, well, look, that kind of maybe brings me to an issue that I think we both share, which is this idea of really being realistic about what are the things that you have to get done and what can you actually get done. So for me, the way that that shows up is I and I and I got this from a former coworker many years ago, but I've always employed it, is being honest about what I have to do, and then drawing a line and accepting that everybody below the line is going to be angry, that I and or disappointed or whatever I didn't get to do it. And it will get done. I'll have to like move it around, move it to other days of the week, reassess. I'm happy to let people know where appropriate that it's not gonna get done. But here for me, part of being calm about on Sunday is knowing that I already have a sense on paper or in my head or somewhere what is what has to happen Monday, but what's actually gonna happen Monday? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And when you say that you you had a line that you drew, like was it on a piece of paper where you wrote out, okay?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, I actually like wrote out, write this memo, go to this meeting, make this phone call, and then you kind of sit there and you're you're like, no, really, this phone call is time sensitive, like it's got to be made tomorrow. And because it relates to the memo that has to be written. Um, it relates to this meeting I have to go to. But there might be other stuff like read the such and such report and provide your feedback. It is due on Wednesday. Well, it's not due Monday, so right. Can't be everywhere, you know. Yeah, uh, you know, especially when I was in really senior roles in uh state, it was things like, you know, um, go to the such and such office and congratulate everyone on doing a great job on such and such. Maybe, maybe that's critical for Monday, but maybe something happened over the weekend that that's now gonna be a Tuesday morning thing. Like, I'm definitely gonna get there. I'm definitely gonna thank everybody, it's definitely gonna be in a timely way, but I just can't walk across. I I don't have the time. I'm gonna push myself too far and not be great where I really need to be great. And I think a lot about as I make that list, I think a lot about um something we learned. Um I don't know if your cohort learned, something my cohort learned in the um International Women's Forum Leadership Program about thinking about pacing yourself almost like a like an athlete. And one of the examples they used was like, you know, Serena Williams cannot play like it is the final point at the championships at Wimbledon every single day. Like she can't she can't do that on the practice court, she can't do that for like the first game, like she can't so it's also thinking through the day and through the week of I can't be up here at Wimbledon every single day. Yeah, some days we gotta be on the practice court, yeah. So it's like that also is helping to determine where that line is drawn. But yeah, no, it often means having some difficult conversations, but it's worth it.
SPEAKER_01:100%.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, we share that in common for me. It got to a point for me in senior roles at state where I stopped focusing so much on like the day-to-day to-do lists, and I came up with more of a weekly plan. And I would write out on index cards like what are the three major things that I need to get done this week. And I it helped me at least kind of restructure my brain and my approach to my workload, and it actually helped me to accomplish those three things. Whatever it was that I wrote out on Sunday, you know, I would take that card with me into the office on Monday, and you know, I would be able to get those things done. Sometimes it would take all week, sometimes it would only take a couple of days, because of course you can't control for the things that your boss is going to ask you to do, or you know, the crises that erupt, or, you know, just life. Life happens and you can't control every minute of every day. But for me, anchoring myself in three key things for the week really helped me to focus and really helped me to be able to expend energy on all the other random stuff that would land on my desk so that I could say, okay, well, at least I got the things done that I prioritized for me, and now I have space and mental energy to deal with all of this other stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I I think we both are have elements of the same thing there. And I think that when you know what's clear, like that you clearly have to do, then you also know it's flexible. Because as I as you were saying that, I was reflecting on how I think every job I've ever had, a lot of what of what my day-to-day looked like was driven by the news cycle or the markets, yeah. And yeah, you know, no matter what is on the cover of the Washington Post, these are the things I have to get done. Yeah, the Washington Post is gonna shift some things around.
SPEAKER_02:Like these like that's a given. You know that there are gonna be some some straight voltage coming at you, and so how do you make some peace?
SPEAKER_00:There's peace in that. So it's like just be real with your community and your household about what the priorities are and what the difficult points of the week are be real about what needs to happen Sunday to get things done, and be honest about what has to happen during the week. There it is. Boom. As usual, there we go.
SPEAKER_01:As usual.
SPEAKER_00:Did I leave something out? I left out yours. One of yours.
SPEAKER_02:No, I think we're good. That was our shared that was our shared experience.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I feel like I dropped something, but all right, I like it. Boom.
SPEAKER_02:Like it, I love it.
SPEAKER_00:Well, with that said, I want to thank our audience for you know tuning in yet again for another one of our Sunday getting rid of the Sunday Scaries episodes. And if you are listening to us on audio, please, please, please come over to YouTube and find us at Leadership T podcast and subscribe and let us know what you're doing. Like I would really appreciate that actually. In the chat to know what you are doing to prepare yourself for Monday? What's your Sunday ritual? And we look forward to seeing your comments and also seeing you back here soon for another episode of the Leadership Tea Podcast where we are sipping wisdom and stirring success.
