Crisis Management for Leaders: Calm, Clarity, and Hard Decisions

What does leadership look like when the playbook breaks down?

In this episode of The Leadership Tea Podcast, Shelby and Belinda reflect on what crisis management requires from leaders when events are unfolding in real time.

Drawing from their own experience in high-pressure environments, they discuss calm under pressure, executive presence, hard personnel decisions, internal communication, and the practical ways leaders can keep teams steady when everything feels uncertain. They also highlight the importance of knowing your people before a crisis begins and accepting support when the usual playbook no longer applies.

This is a grounded conversation about leadership, resilience, and what it takes to move people to action when the stakes are high.

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The Leadership Tea Podcast is brought to you by Grounded and Global Advisory, LLC. Grounded and Global is led by two former senior U.S. diplomats with 50 combined years of experience managing crises in the world's most complex environments. Our services include executive and leadership coaching (see here for our premier Centered Leader Program), crisis management consulting, strategic advisory, and workshop facilitation. We serve high-performing individuals who operate in unique spaces, such as athletes, universities, small businesses, and non-profits. Please contact us at hello@stirringsuccess.com.

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Transcript

Why Crisis Management Matters

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast, where we have conversations about being grounded in leadership and global impact. We decided that we would talk today about crisis management. Given everything that's happening in the world right now, the crisis in the Middle East and how that is impacting not only the United States, but several other countries, both in the region and globally. And in thinking about the people that we know who are on the ground, having to deal with this crisis as it unfolds, we decided that it was timely to reflect on our experience having been in the hot seat, having been in positions where we had to make split-second decisions that had a real impact on the lives of other American citizens as well as foreigners. We thought that it would be a good moment to pause and share some of the anecdotes that we have gained over the years and to share some lessons and some tips that we think might be helpful in this moment. So I will turn it over to Belinda. I'm curious to hear what's the first thing that comes to your mind as you think about the crisis in real time.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Yeah, yeah. And before I dive in, I want to like let our audience know I'm a little under the weather. So my voice may sound a bit strange today, but I'm here making it. So, you know, Shelby, what I thought of as I watched on the news, events begin to unfold around the world, that often heavy is the head that wears the crown. I know what it's like to be in a room and receive information that is really scary, that you can't necessarily share with everyone, yet you need to move people to action without full context. And then in a case like, say, you know, if people were in Gulf countries and literally drones are crashing around you, like there's no hiding that from folks. There's no saying, we'll figure it out tomorrow. Let's have a meeting. I really believe in taking an extra 30 to 90 seconds and saying, I will purposefully remain calm. When things are happening around you, people need something that is grounding. Doesn't necessarily mean that you have all the answers, right? And so I think I have tried to find a balance between vulnerability, like, hey, we are not operating from a playbook anymore to calm and resolve. And so we're all gonna have to work together. We're gonna have to put our beefs aside. That is something that immediately came to mind for me.

Executive Presence Is A Tool

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Yeah, I can relate to everything that you just said. Crisis reveals character and sometimes it brings out the best in people, and sometimes it brings out the worst. But as you said, when things are, you know, getting heated, you really do have to put aside those personal animosities and disagreements or personality conflicts and roll up your sleeves and take care of the needful. When I think about how I've managed crises, I recall how I 10xed my executive presence. Because what you don't want, what people don't want, is to follow a leader that appears weak. And there is a performative nature to leadership in times of a crisis because frankly, you want to make sure that well, it's not even making sure, you're more motivated or inspired to follow someone who looks like their head is in the game, that they're under control, they present themselves in a way that exudes confidence. You don't want to be following someone who looks haggard and tired and raggedy. Like I can recall when I was overseas managing a specific crisis that comes to mind. I had a go bag in my office that I kept all the time. But in this particular instance, I made sure as we were managing this crisis, you know, in the short window of time when I was able to go home and get things, I would make sure that I had in my office, you know, deodorant, toothpaste, a toothbrush, something that made me smell good, whether it was like a bath and body works, body spray or perfume, lip gloss. Like I didn't have time to necessarily put on, you know, full makeup. But for me, it's like, okay, I can't show up in a meeting with my lips looking raggedy, with my lips chapped. Like I need to have some lip gloss to at least make me feel like, you know, I am presenting in a way that shows that I'm still together, even if things are falling apart around me. And that's not to say that you don't have those moments where you feel vulnerable. But again, when you're leading people, they want to know, okay, Belinda's tight. Belinda looks like, you know, yeah, she may be tired, she hasn't gotten enough sleep, she's managing a lot of things, but Belinda looks like she's in command. Belinda looks like she's in control. And that's that was something that was very important to me in managing crises.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah, no, I remember early in my career working with someone who really enjoyed during a crisis sleeping in the office and looking crazy, right? And announcing, I've been wearing these clothes for a week. I've been sleeping at my desk, you know, I'm fully committed. And no, you just told me like you're disorganized, you're tired.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Right. You're happy.

Tough Team Calls On Game Day

SPEAKER_00 5:42

And I'm questioning everything that you're saying. The other thing with the um staying calm, and I would add constantly rethinking the realities, the new facts, like factoring those things in. When I'm staying calm, the reality is I'm getting I'm at the pay grade that I'm at because I can do that. Not everybody on the team can. And so I would often go into meetings going, okay, so-and-so is gonna flip out, right? So-and-so is gonna say something crazy, and somebody has to be the bigger person in the room, and it's gonna be me. Like I know so-and-so is gonna flip out. I remember being in a crisis where we were talking about evacuating people and being really annoyed that people were making decisions based on their own preferences or what their own families wanted or what worked for them. And I'm like, we don't, it's game time. Yeah, we are here to work for the people, right? Everything, the mission. Yes, there are things that I would like to see happen personally, but I need everybody to have the maturity. So that was very frustrating for me. And I really would have to be in meetings, like wanting to flip out on everyone. And so the way I handled that is like again, we were having like meetings every couple of hours dealing with like this evacuation. And I finally went into one and I was like started with talking to people like it was a sports game. Like, I'm a coach. Yeah, hey, we've been training for this, it's game day. You're gonna be asked to do things that are uncomfortable and not personally working for you, but this is why you asked to be in charge. Right. Of your thing. This is what being in charge means. Like, I need you to step up. I need you to meet me halfway. Right now, I remember telling them, you all, my leadership team, are my biggest problem right now. What are we doing? Why are the people beneath you ready to like be mature, suck it up, and they're like, put me in, coach? So I do think that sometimes you have to write, be tough with folks, but I think you need to read the room and understand what's the best way to motivate your team, screaming at them, yelling at them, flipping out. Again, when literally things are on fire around you, this isn't like a Hollywood movie, right? Screaming isn't going to make a difference. We need to be analytical and strategic.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

But I'm also willing to bet that in those moments, or in this particular moment that you're describing, you knew what people were capable of.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

And I think that's another critical thing when it comes to managing a crisis. That's not the moment to begin developing relationships. That's not the moment to begin observing behavior patterns. Like you know who on your team, like you said, is likely to flip out and who's going to be ready to step up. But you knew those things instinctively because you had already done the work. You had already done the work of observing, coaching, mentoring, supervising, stepping in, stepping back, dependent on what the capabilities were of each person on your team. And so you knew how to calibrate when was it time to shout, or when was it time to, you know, step up and be a coach and give that coaching kind of motivational speech, as opposed to, you know, biting people's heads off.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

When to call a spade a spade. There were two people who were in very senior roles during this particular crisis that I'm thinking about. And they just were not competent. They were not competent. I knew that, I knew things were only going to get more intense. And as we were evacuating people, I needed them to get on a plane. I would have preferred to deal with more junior people on their team. And that is a hard call to make, right? It's really tough to go to someone and say, like, I know that you're in charge. I know that it's game day. I know I just gave that big speech, but I need you to go home and pack. I'm not approving you to stay and I'm elevating XYZ because like lives are on the line. And so this just goes back, and that person or those two people, right? There were lots of threats, lots of calls back to headquarters, right? I'm gonna sue you. I'm gonna this okay, we will address all that as soon as all this is done. But in the meantime, I need you to get on this plane, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:23

This is the decision I have made.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

And so again, I go like this goes back to the heavy is the head that wears the crown. I've made a decision. I have to stand behind it. In the case of these two people, their teams were like, we can deliver for you if you kind of these people are in the way. Yeah, they did. We would not have been able to achieve what we achieved if I had been too scared to do my job.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

And my job didn't mean making spreadsheets about who was getting on the plane. My job, you know, I view being in a senior role, kind of like being a conductor in a symphony. Right? We all have the music, right? My job is just to help y'all keep time, help people know their cue, give you a little correction when you're out of tune, but it's not to play the music.

Internal Communication And Taking Heat

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SPEAKER_01 11:19

I hear you, 100%. The other thing that comes to mind for me in managing a crisis, and it may surprise people, but the one thing that I was always afraid of was that someone would come forward after the dust settled and would say something to the effect of, I never got X piece of information. Like no one ever told me, fill in the blank. And so for me, I was always focused on making sure that our internal communication was just as strong as our external communication. And overseas, when you're managing a crisis, you know, in the world of diplomacy, of course, you want to make sure that you're feeding the bees. You want to make sure that you are communicating quickly with Washington and all the many audiences that are back here in the United States. But then someone needs to make sure that you're communicating with the people right within your orbit. Like who is talking to the family members? Who is talking to, you know, the schools? Who is making sure that everyone within the community is aware of whatever the game plan is? If you're evacuating, if there's been some other sort of crisis, like, are we making sure that everyone has been told? So in my head, I was always calibrating who else needs to know. It's like, yeah, we've gone through our checklist of everyone in Washington. Who else? Who else? I was constantly asking myself that question. And sometimes people on my team would be like, oh, we already communicated that. Whatever. Let's can we're gonna continue to communicate the exact same information because guess what? Consistency means that we're not missing anything. If we are communicating the same message over and over again to various audiences, then that means that the message is consistent and that we're on target and no one is missing anything. But for me, that was a real personal like, I never want anyone to be like, no one ever told me.

Human Centered Care Under Pressure

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Internal comms is so important. I don't think I thought of it as with that phrasing when I was in government, when I left government, right? And I was introduced to the idea that there's formal departments that are working on this. That was really eye-opening. Internal comms under crisis conditions, it's really scary. You're about to get screamed at. And then your job is to take it. I really saw that when I went into the private sector. I was shocked at some of the things that people said during internal, like community-wide events. But you have to give people a pressure release valve. Yes. So it's like, okay, I get paid for you to scream at me. Noted, I see some areas that I can change. I'm upset. I'm giving you bad news. You know, let's go. It's not personal, it's just business. And that's something that in a crisis you have to constantly tell yourself. Because again, you're being paid for maturity. Everybody, you that's why you're in charge. They're not in charge because they can't do that yet. And so you've constantly have to tell yourself, like, this is not personal. This is a learning opportunity for so-and-so. I've only got 30 seconds to give you some learnings, and we'll come back to this when this is over. But it is not personal.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Yeah, it's not about you. It's not about you. They're expecting you. Well, whether they're expecting it or not, you have certain expectations for yourself. As you said, you have been elevated to this role for a reason, and you have to be willing to make difficult decisions and not personalize the way that people react because you're not going to be able to control the wide variety of emotions that erupt when things are falling apart. That's just part of human nature. Um, the last thing that I would say, and this again may be another surprising anecdote, but when we think about this notion of having a human-centered leadership approach to crises, I would always keep snacks available because people are working around the clock. And in some instances, especially if you think about where people are working right now as this crisis continues in the Middle East, you can't just call up Domino's or Grubhub or you know, some other sort of food service. Like that isn't really that doesn't exist. And so do you have some fruit? Do you have some crackers? Do you have some peanut butter? Do you have some protein bars? Something, some sort of like non-perishable, or even if it's you know a piece of fruit, fruit is perishable, but just some sort of small snack that you can keep in your office for yourself, for your team, because you need to maintain that resilience. And I would go around and ask people, have you eaten a day? Are you hydrated? Can I get you some water? I have some extra snacks in my office. Would you like something? Because you don't want people like feigning on you or becoming dehydrated, you know, especially in times of crisis. And when you know that people are giving their all, the first person that they forget to take care of is themselves. And so I would just try to, again, have some candy, like whatever, just some sort of sustenance in my office to help make sure that people weren't walking around starving.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

100%. I think that's really goes back to this idea of being the conductor. If you have done your job properly, you've given everyone the music, you've told them what the expectations are. You're we're gonna, you know, crescendo here, we're gonna decrescendo here, we're gonna do do do do do do do. Now they're over there practicing. So you should be able to just go around and float. Hey, is there anything else you need? Also, here's some crackers. How are you feeling? You're taking a break? Because, like, if you pass out, then this isn't gonna get done. So, I'm not gonna do it. So I would appear in people's offices, right? And even recently for a volunteer, like a civic volunteer thing that I'm participating in now here, like we're working on a big project that's kind of amping up the pressure for volunteers right now, temporarily. And I have this one co-volunteer who I wake up in the middle of the night, she's texting, she's sending emails, she's like, and you're like, girl, it when do you go to sleep? Are you getting some rest? Are they paying you? Like, this is a volunteer. So I called her yesterday and I was like, hey, I know that we have to be all in because this issue is really important to us. We want to deliver the best, but we still have like a month or two to go. Are you okay? How can I support you? I just want you to know that you're seen. I don't know if anybody's told you that, but I see you. Like, I really did call this person yesterday and say, like, I know that you're like you have free time. You're retired. I don't know, this is a lot.

Accepting Help And Asking For Support

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah, it's not that deep. I need you to take a break.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Just are you okay? Are you gonna make it to the finish line? You're really important to the team.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, you need to hear that. Like, all kidding aside, it really to me reminds me how important it was for me to check in on the team to make sure, like, okay, I don't need you running on empty at the moment where we're gonna really need you to have that gas tank, you know, three quarters full. Like, you don't want to work people to death and you want to make sure that you are cognizant of okay, who looks like they might be struggling? Who looks like they do they need a nap? Can they go into their office and just you know lay their heads down for 15 minutes and then come back refreshed?

Coaching Support And Closing Tribute

SPEAKER_00 20:25

And the last thing I would say is being willing to accept help. I remember in this particular crisis, headquarters would like kind of one of my bosses in headquarters would call and say, I'm just checking on you. What can we be doing better for you? Have you slept? Have you eaten? And you have to be honest and vulnerable and whatever. No, I haven't slept because you all asked us to do 12 things and there's only so many hours in the day, and I need you to pull like six of these things back or combine them, right? At least express it. They may or may not be able to change it. And so, Shelby, with that thought in mind, it's clear that we're seeing from some of our partners and clients the need to have that kind of support in your space. Somebody who's in the background helping you and helping your organization when the playbook, we're just we're not operating from the plan. Where we have moved to what was unthinkable, and people are expecting you to change on a dime, and you could use an experienced thought partner, an experienced support system, and someone who's going to be able to help you guide your team with clarity and precision in what are frankly really scary times. So, you know, I just want to acknowledge that we're seeing an increase of need for support for that. We often are on our podcast talking about more traditional kinds of executive coaching, but I think that this moment we have been able to shift and support people in this way. And I just want to put that out there for our listeners. If you are in a space where circumstances have become extremely dynamic, things are changing, and your organization is really struggling. How are you going to support your team that's spread out around a region or around the world? And how are you going to lead that effort? I would just offer that we are available to. Talk to you to think about what your organization could use in terms of support and to help be there because these are times like we have not seen before. And so extraordinary times call for extraordinary types of support and extraordinary measures.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Yes. We'll make sure that we put information about our business services in the show notes in case you want to take advantage of our expertise. And I want to end by giving a shout out to all of the men and women that we know at the State Department in particular, since that was our home institution. We think about you all the time. We're on the front lines at different points in history where other crises erupted. And we just want you to know that we are here for you in spirit and we support you in any way that we can. We're thinking about you, we salute you. We are thankful for your service.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah, 100%. Well, that sounds like a great note to end on. And we want to, as always, thank all of you for tuning in and sipping wisdom and stirring success with us. We look forward to seeing you during future episodes.