Take Back Your Power After a Forced Career Pivot | Cathy Duffy

What happens when the career you've spent decades building suddenly ends?

In this special re-release of one of Leadership Tea's most impactful conversations, executive leader Cathy Duffy shares how being unexpectedly pushed into early retirement became the beginning of an entirely new chapter.

Shelby Smith-Wilson and Belinda Jackson explore identity, leadership, resilience, and what it truly means to take your power back after a forced career pivot.

If you're navigating layoffs, organizational change, or questioning what's next in your own career, this episode offers practical leadership lessons that feel especially relevant today.

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Transcript

Power With Vs Power Over

SPEAKER_02 0:00

People think that power means that you have to control everything and that you have to be the one that knows everything and that it's more like power over. Whereas the power that actually works is the power with, because we can't do anything on our own.

Why This Conversation Returns Now

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Welcome to the Leadership Tea Podcast, where leadership, culture, and clarity meet conversation. I'm Shelby and I'm joined by my amazing co-host Belinda. And if you are new here, we would welcome you subscribing to our YouTube channel. We're doing something different today. We are bringing back one of our most powerful conversations. It was our episode three from season three with Kathy Duffy, entitled Take Back Your Power After a Forced Pivot. I want to tell you why we're doing this. Right now, there are so many people in our community who are continuing to navigate career disruptions that they didn't choose, from pivots to layoffs to starting over in ways that they just never imagined. And we thought about which leadership tea episode speaks most directly to this moment. It's this one. Kathy's story about taking her power back and making the courageous choice to start over and designing a future on her own terms. It just hit different listening to it now, almost a year later, just over a year later, than it did when we recorded. She talks about how life doesn't always go as planned, and you have to be prepared to be unprepared. Another thing that she mentioned that resonated with me is it's okay if you're pushed out. It's what you do afterwards that matters. She talks about her loss and leaving people behind, the people that she mentored, the people that she led, the people that she built relationships with. That was a real challenge. But she also said something else that was really powerful. Don't define myself too tightly. As you're facing a forced pivot or an unexpected disruption, that is a really powerful sentiment to sit with. So grab your cup of tea, your cup of coffee, your favorite beverage, listen up to this episode. I think you're gonna get a lot out of it. Let's get into it.

The Forced Pivot And Dragonfly Sign

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Kathy, thanks again for joining us. It's just really an honor to have you back this year. And your fan favorite. Your episode remains our most downloaded episode of the Leadership Tea Podcast. So it's really great to have you here. You have made a career pivot. What made you decide to make the changes you've made this year?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Thank you for having me, Shelby and Belinda. A lot has happened since we were last talking. I was leading a major insurance company then. And then last summer, I was given quote unquote early retirement. And it came a little earlier than I was expecting. My husband and I had another plan that we were going to execute in April of this year, where I was going to retire myself. But then with all the changes, and I know a lot of people are going through being let go at the moment or are in fear of being let go. And I faced that last year. And the irony of it is that it was at the same time, a couple of weeks before, my son had been made redundant. And so a few weeks before that, he had seen this huge dragonfly, and he knows how much dragonflies mean to me. And he told me that he this large orange dragonfly flew towards him, and he'd never seen such a large dragonfly. And this was when he was still working. And I always look at nature as providing us with signs. So I looked up what a large orange dragonfly means, and it actually means transformation, some career issues, all that. So I sent a message to my son saying, is everything okay with your job? And he said, Yeah, everything's fine, no worries. And then about a week or so later, he was made redundant along with 64 other people. He's in programming, and the programming world is going through a huge turmoil at the moment. And then about a month later, I was given early retirement, which is a polite way of pushing you out the door. And I realized that the reason why he told me about the dragonfly is because we both were going to go through a major shift in our lives. As a result of being pushed out as such a high-profile person, a person that so many people looked up to, black and white, but majority black women, across the board. I was like the touchstone for people, particularly people of color, and mainly black women, who are striving for their career. So it sent ripples through the work world. And I had to be very careful with how I handled it, because I didn't want people to make rash decisions or feel that they were going to be next. And I wanted people to continue to do their jobs, even the company that I was pushed out of, because a lot of them were very upset. And I'm like, no, you don't want to give anybody an excuse for shutting Bermuda down or for pushing you out. So, regardless of how you're feeling about me, I want you to continue to do your best. And that will be your tribute to me. But at the same time, I was very honest about what happened to me because so many people pretend like they retired themselves. And I'm like, why should I do that? It's actually okay if you're pushed out, it's what you do after that matters. Right? And that's why I was very honest about what happened. And people were like, I can't believe you're telling that story. And I'm like, I'm stopping you all from gossiping, number one. And then number two, this shows that we're all dispensed. And what are we gonna do next? So that's where I

Oxford As A Reset Button

SPEAKER_02 6:49

am right now. I'm at Oxford University. I was supposed to be coming to Oxford in 2026. I have been accepted in the program for 2026. The day I was given early retirement, I called Oxford and I said, Can I come in 2025 instead? Because I wanted to give myself a rest and to open my mind to something completely different. And I felt that this was a great opportunity to do that. And they said, absolutely. The difference between 2025 and 2026 is my husband was supposed to be with me, but he's not, because he's back at home doing the house and trying to figure out what we're gonna do with that and all that good stuff. So we're a year ahead of where we were going to be, and that's just the way life is right now. You just got to be prepared to be unprepared.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Needing to be prepared to be unprepared, yes, is such a powerful reminder for so many of our listeners, given where they are in life and some of the challenges that they're facing in their careers. I think it's so important to not sugarcoat what's happening to so many people right now. And I just applaud your honesty and your authenticity about what happened to you. And one of the things that Belinda and I wanted to ask is how are you coping? You dedicated a lot of your career to being a successful executive at the company where you were working most recently. And so there must have been a sense of loss. And we were just wondering, how are you doing with the force pivot?

Loss, Identity, And The Brand Trap

SPEAKER_02 8:36

The sense of loss was actually for other people, not for me. Right? Because I knew that I was going to be exiting soon because I was at the point in my life where it was time for me to give back more. And in the role that I was in, I was not allowed to do that. It was a very control when the higher you get in an organization, the less freedom and flexibility you have, because you become almost like a part of the brand. And if you step out of line, some people feel that impacts the brand because the way that we have evolved now from a corporate perspective, from a personal perspective, everybody's got these brands, and it almost leaves no room for mistakes, no room for growth, no room for trying things out and seeing what works and what doesn't. It's either black or white. And it's so ironic because that's now how the world is good. We're being separated and put into tribes when we are all very much the same at the core. So I was actually on my way out anyway. So the biggest loss for me was what was gonna happen to the people that were left, and what did that mean for them, and how were they going to be, and who was gonna be their advocate, who was gonna be the one who spoke up even for Bermuda in terms of a global company? So that was what the loss was to me. And then if I stepped back a bit, I did go through like for about five minutes, and then I had to talk to myself. I went through this thing of who in the world do these people think they are that they could push me out with everything that I've done, all that I have added value to this company. Such a huge name in Bermuda, who do they think they are? And that was like for about five minutes, and then I'm like, who cares who they think they are? This is about me now. So I've got to pivot out of that and figure out what the opportunity is for me.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Everybody has a brand right now. And the brand doesn't allow for any growth or any mistakes. So now that you have this space, you said it's giving you an opportunity to think and explore. Are there any lessons that you've learned thus far that you would want to share? What have you learned about navigating the opportunities that this force pivoteth brought

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SPEAKER_00 11:33

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SPEAKER_02 11:33

Don't

(Cont.) Loss, Identity, And The Brand Trap

SPEAKER_02 11:34

have a destination in mind when you are in a great period of uncertainty because then you block yourself from all the different paths that show up. We're all so defined now, right? That when you do that, you actually keep yourself in a prison. And it was so interesting. My tutor here, because we have a tutor that gets assigned to us because we're doing a project, coming up with a project, which I've just pivoted from actually yesterday, completely changed my project based on being at home last week and different things people said to me. But he was saying to me about talking about diversity and talking about what that means. And I was like, oh my goodness, can I say that? He said, You're no longer controlled by a company. So why can't you say that? And you know, because you're so conditioned to be so careful that you forget what your strengths are sometimes, and what you're actually put here to be and do. And that's a part of what is happening right now in the world that I think, particularly people of color, immigrants, people like that, who have always been on the outside looking in, because of the resiliency that's built from that, the creativity, the empathy, the emotional intelligence, all those things that people in those categories actually end up catching up and overtaking very quickly. And a part of what's happening in the world now is we've got to put people back in their places. The greatest lesson that I'm learning is don't put any limits on myself at this moment. Don't have any expectations right now, and don't define myself too tightly. Just keep open, receptive, grateful.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

I just want to really underscore what you just said, Kathy, because it's something that I see so much in my coaching practice that I really try to help people work through. And I want our audience to really understand that at this moment, you cannot come to the table with preconceived ideas of who you are and what you're capable of. There is so much change and there's so much turbulence, and there is such a desire to put people back in boxes that you need to think creatively. You need to take an opportunity to say, if I can't have what I hoped to have, what I was working towards, if I have to pivot, then at least let me pivot on my terms and to pivot to the thing that's going to allow me to thrive. When I pivot to that, the doors will open.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

I think everything that you're sharing is going to resonate because it's resonating with me. And one of the things that you said that I wanted to follow up on in terms of not having a destination in mind, to piggyback on what Belinda said and not blocking your path, that to me is such a testament of what it means to take your power back.

Redefining Power And Being Triggered

SPEAKER_01 14:59

And I'm wondering, as you reflect on everything that you went through over the past year and where you are now, how do you define the word power and what does it mean to you to take your power back?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

I think that's a big part of the problem in the world right now, right? Because people think that power means that you have to control everything and that you have to be the one that knows everything, and that it's more like power over. Where the power that actually works is the power with, because we can't do anything on our own. There's always somebody that's helping us, there's always somebody that we need, there's always somebody that even the worst person that comes along and does the worst thing to us, and I think I've said this so many times before, that person is one of our greatest teachers because they're actually teaching us how to be and what not to do. And when we're triggered, that person is triggering something that we've been concealing about ourselves, right? My speech that I gave last week for the honors, I based it around a conversation that I had with someone who, when I was telling people that I have been given early retirement and that I feel that I've been cold to the more. And this person flippantly said, You've been cold like three or four times, you have nine lives, right? And that pissed me off, right? I was triggered by that statement, but then when I reflected on it, I'm like, Yeah, I have been cold three or four times, and guess what? I have more than nine lives, as does everybody else. Like, why do we think that we have to be one thing? And why do we think that we can't constantly be changing and growing and accepting of situations that turn us upside down? Was it because we weren't paying attention to the science along the way that were telling us that we were not where we were meant to be? And then life comes along and smacks us, saying, Okay, you're not listening, so I've gotta do this and I've gotta do it spectacularly, so that you're gonna really take the time to reflect on why you're in this place.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Yeah, exactly. Is there something else you'd like to share with our audience, many of whom are having to think about how to leverage these forced pivots that they're being put into?

Community, Loneliness, And Choosing Light

SPEAKER_02 17:55

I do feel that the world is being asked to remember that we are much more powerful when we empower each other, that we are more like than we are different, and that it is the sum of all of us, as Heather McGee says in her book, The Sum of All of Us. It's not a zero-sum game. And now people are starting to figure out that when you choose fear, you actually make it multiply. And that's why there's so much uncertainty, so many people losing jobs, because we have to go to the extreme to come back to the light. And the question that we all have to ask each other is each one of us manifested what's happening now, and what are we all as individuals going to do to now shift back to a place of light?

SPEAKER_01 18:53

That's so powerful. And is like, what are you going to allow to guide you in this? Are you going to be rooted in fear? Yes. Are you going to be rooted in love? Yeah. Are you going to focus on light or darkness? That's really the key. And one of the things that Belinda said, which dovetails nicely with your comments, is community is the real hero right now. If anything, I think we're all learning the value in reaching out to the people who matter to us, doing things, being there for people who need us. Right now. I have just been amazed at the outpouring of love and care and concern and the humanity that's it's saying.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Yes. Vivek Marty, the ex-U.S. Surgeon General, he says that the greatest epidemic that is happening in the world is loneliness. And that is what is allowing this sort of administration to rise because people want someone to come and save them.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Whereas if we went back to being in our local communities and reaching out to each other, that's where change happens. But we all think it's like this huge thing when it's actually small and local of what you can control. Right. Within your area. It's not like this big glorious thing that's gonna happen. That will happen eventually with each one of us. But it's not going to be like we're gonna get the golden ticket and then it's all done. Like we each have to incrementally face our dark sides and make change.

Lightning Round And Reinvention

SPEAKER_01 20:43

So, Kathy, we're gonna shift to our lighthearted part of the conversation and ask you a few lightning round questions to start. What are your words for the year? Entitled, deserving, and worthy. Okay. Entitled, deserving, and worthy. Yes to all of that.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Yeah, I'm like, preach. All right, I'll jump in with the next one, which is are you listening to anything in particular that you'd want to share, whether it's music or a podcast or an audiobook? What are you listening to these days?

SPEAKER_02 21:19

I try to listen to as many different types of people because it's always good to hear from different sectors. I'm loving Mal Robins Let them. Yes. I'm loving that. The Dailies had a few pretty good ones. Hidden Brain has been on point as well. And then of course Oprah. I think her podcast is just amazing as well. Music wise, I do like Doltree and I do love Beyonce. Those two are like, you know. That's awesome. All right, last question. Who inspires you? You know, it's a combination of people, it's not just one person. Of course Oprah's top of the list, Michelle Obama, Beyonce. I don't even know how she got to be third. Like she's probably because that woman is the queen of reinvention. Like that woman proves over and over again that we are not one thing. She appeals like my 21-year-old daughter and I are going to see Beyoncé together. You know what I mean? And she's been around for 40 years or whatever. And she's still reinventing herself because she refuses to be contained. My biggest inspiration is actually my mother who passed away. Because I feel like I am living the life that she never got to live.

unknown 22:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Well, I want you to know that you're an inspiration for us. And really, this is largely why we wanted you back on the show. You've said so much today that speaks to this moment and is really inspiring and is actionable. We want to feel that sense of entitlement, understand that we're worthy, trust ourselves, and not allow ourselves to be defined.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

And so you really embody that for us.

Where To Follow Kathy And Closing

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Every week you share inspiration across your social media platforms. Do you want to talk about that for people who may want to connect with you and hear more of your words on a regular basis?

SPEAKER_02 23:27

I started that when I turned 60. And it was my year of exploration and discovery. So I would just every Sunday tell people what I had done that week. And then when it came to the end of it, people were like, you can't stop. You you have to keep doing it because that's something that I look forward to. I've also had this three-year thing from my 60th. Because I sort of knew 2025 was going to be pivotal, right? 60 was my year of exploration and discovery. 61 was my year of getting into position. And this year is my year of execution. And so I do the talks on my Instagram at Bermuda Cat. In the past, I would never have told anyone that. Because that was not supposed to be a big thing. It was supposed to be just for those who tuned into it. Because the one thing that I don't want to do is start speaking to what I think the audience wants. Because when I start that, I say happy Sunday, and I don't even know what's coming out after that. It's not rehearsed. I have no idea what I'm going to say. So I posted on Instagram, on Facebook, and then this year I've added LinkedIn, and that's because I'm in this program. It's like a leadership program. It's the Next Horizons program for Oxford University. It's for people that have retired or people that are at the top of their careers that want to make a major shift in your life. So you're here for six months. On Thursdays, we have lecturers that come in, very high-profile lecturers. We had Inn Golden here week before last. We've had people that talk about language. Sarah Ogovich, she wrote a book, The Dictionary People. We get very interesting people that come to speak to us on a Thursday. And then Tuesdays, it's all about aging, what we want out of life, life and its meaning. And then Wednesdays, we do personal presentations and that sort of thing. And then you have access to all these lectures that happen here. So I'm just keeping people up to date on what that's all about through those platforms.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

That's amazing. And I too follow you on Instagram. And now I'll be sure to look for your posts on LinkedIn. It's the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

It is okay. All right. It's the same thing. Sometimes we try to separate business from personal when in fact the personal and business are intertwined. So true. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Well, we look forward to continuing to follow you, Kathy. And thanks again for being such an inspiration. We really appreciate everything that you've shared with us today. And just wish you all the best.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Thank you. And I just want to say thank you to Shelby, you and Melinda. And I think we all inspire each other when we tell our truths.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Yeah. That's a word.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Friends, thank you again for watching. Please like and subscribe to the podcast on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram at leadership underscore T. And if you liked what you heard today, please write us a review on Apple Podcasts.